5.25.08
The fun just never stops! This weekend we had a women’s Bible study here at the house. I’m understanding more and more Russian and surprise people all the time when they say something or tell a story and I respond in Russian….one of the Ukrainian girls said after one such incident “Tby panymete (you understand?)?” LOL! It was great….but my response is still “ochen choo choo (very little)” :o) which is very true…I still feel lost most of the time, but God’s grace is so good.
The Ukrainian team and I went over to Jed and Renee’s for dinner after the women’s Bible study. Two of their team members flew out Sunday morning, so we had one last meal with them before we said goodbye. It has been a blessing to work along side of them and to have a connection with them from my time in Ternopil and from the students from their church who were at CCBCE this semester. I love how in Christ you so easily feel like family!
This morning we had church in the hall. I helped out in the nursery…so many kids, which is such a great problem to have. Afterwards we had lunch with Jonathan and Katie, and Jonathan’s sister and Dad who are visiting from the states. After that we headed to the cancer hospital where we shared with several people in the “dying” ward.
In the lower part of this building the church has provided to have it remodeled. When they first started ministering there, there were rats all over the floor because they had made a nest in one of the vents. Here these people are sick with cancer, receiving treatments that lower their immune systems with rats running all over the building. Sadly, the people that we met with today are not told they are dying and most of their “treatment” is not really treatment at all, but instead a means of making them feel as though they are receiving medical care that will help them get well. It is so sad. They kept talking about when they get better and we stood there knowing that in all probability they will not regain their health. Once woman in particular was very open to the gospel and told us that she would like to receive a Bible. We will go back on Tuesday to visit her. As we finished on the ward, the nurses told us that we could not be there and tried to kick us out. Thankfully one nurse wanted to talk to us and we had the opportunity to share with her. She seemed open and willing to listen. Our prayer is that as we go back in we can establish a good relationship with her and have more opportunity.
Being here has really opened my heart and eyes to the ministry of Jesus, to go to the sick and dying, to the elderly, orphan and poor….in these faces I see Jesus, in these hands and hearts I can hear Him ask me if I am willing to serve Him, to love Him, to give everything of myself away for His sake! It is an overwhelming calling. And even with it being so clearly spoken to my heart, I know that I may try to, but in and of myself it is impossible…even in the giving I need Him!
5.28.08
I’m not sure how to summarize the last few days….
As I did my devos this morning I was hit with an intense feeling of being homesick…I miss my family and am looking forward to spending some quality time with them. Only two and a half weeks before I am once again in the states. But even in the looking forward to going home, my prayer today was that the Lord would help me remaine focused on what He has called me to do in the here and now. Satan wants us to get caught up in the past or to strain towards what is in the future, but God says “Today, if you hear my voice…”
It has been difficult and a bit of a struggle being here….more so than I thought. So many opportunities, so much need…and yet I feel so held back by my inability to communicate effectively! To have to rely on others for everything can be so hard….I’m learning humility. I am realizing how intimidated I can be at times, and that in that feeling is a self-centeredness for it often holds me back from doing everything that God places before me to do…I get caught up in being so far from my comfort zone. It is a good stretching and a time of learning. Before I came, I asked God to not let me be complacent, to not let me rely on my previous experiences in short term trips and outreaches, but to make this a time of growth. I sometimes forget what I ask for and then complain when I get it! But God is so faithful to bring me what I need in those times….to remind me of who He is and to whom I belong. “I know, O Lord, that your decisions are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it. Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised your servant. Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your law is my delight.” (Psalm 119:75-77).
In all of this God is teaching me to ask for boldness, and to step outside of my comfort zone and give everything I have. It has had me seeking to understand what are the gifts that He has given me to use on the field…what are the things that He has put in my heart that are undeniable. One thing I have realized is how much my heart hurts as I interact with people who are unloved and deemed unacceptable by society’s standards.
As we walked though the city last night after English club, one of my friends from the Ukrainian team, Tanya and I had noticed two homeless ladies sitting on the side of the road. They were filthy, surrounded by their bags of empty plastic bottles and looked as though they had been using alcohol as a means of trying to escape their reality. I noticed them, but didn’t heed the tug on my heart to talk to them (once again not stepping out in boldness), but Tanya did. As we walked to the corner, she turned to me and said “Do you want to go talk to those women?” I love her and her sensitivity to the Spirit. We went back and tried to talk to them, but the one woman became very irate and kept yelling at us to leave them alone. We tired some more, but she became so upset that we walked away. As we were walking away a man approached us to ask where we were from and as he was talking to us, the irate woman got up and left, leaving the other women there starring at us. We went back to her. She was so precious, probably in her late 60’s early 70’s and seemed starved for love and attention. We started talking to her, but all she could do was look at us with these wide pleading eyes and toothless grin. My heart broke. We began to pray for her, and slowly her arms came around us…she just wanted to be loved. As we finished praying, there were tears in her eyes and tears streaming from mine. We couldn’t help but hug her and kiss her, knowing that it has probably been a while since anyone ever paid her positive attention. She wasn’t able to communicate with us well, but we gave her a tract and told her how much Jesus loves her (one phrase that I can speak in Russian with clarity :o). Please pray that God would work in her heart and that He would meet with her in a special way.
“He will rescue the poor when they cry out to Him; He will help the oppressed who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the weak and the needy and He will rescue them….for their lives are precious to Him.”
Psalm 72:12-14
5.29.08
God is so good to give me His peace and His strength! My heart is more at peace today as He has been speaking to me and giving me His overflowing grace! Thank you for your prayers! He is my faithful shephard who desires to take care of me and protect me (that was for Mr. Gabe :o).
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Here!
5.19.08
Since my access to internet will not be consistent, I’ll try to keep an updated journal on my laptop and will post it to my blog when I can :o).
Well, my long anticipated 30 day outreach has begun. I’m not even sure if I believe that it is actually happening yet. Who would have imagined that God would orchestrate things as such and send me to Kyrgyzstan to be a part of His work here?!? I feel so blessed that He would speak to me in such a special and undeniable way, and then amaze me with His provision. He is so good and so faithful and I stand in awe of Him!
The trip has been interesting….lol. Wendy and I slept in the Budapest airport last night (with another student who was leaving the same morning to go back to the states). Other than being extremely cold and uncomfortable, it was laughable to wake up and find Wendy huddled in a blanket, a jacket, a hat, sprawled on top of her luggage…we looked homeless, haha. I knew it was bad when I was looking forward to sleeping on the plane!
We had a seven hour layover in Istanbul, Turkey, where we were so thankful to find that beautiful green sign that promised us a taste of home: STARBUCKS! We sat there for most of our layover :o).
Flying into Kyrgyzstan, was, for the most part uneventful, arriving at the airport at 4:30 in the morning. The US airbase is also stationed at the airport, so flying in a seeing our military planes on the tarmac was comforting in a way. In flying into Afghanistan, most military will travel through Kyrgyzstan, with it only being a country away. It was a reminder that the fight for freedom still continues and reignited my pride in my country and the men and women who serve to protect our freedoms and to give freedom to those who have never experienced it before. And just as they enter the battle field ready to fight for that cause, so I too was being called to enter a battlefield to fight for freedom, but this one for the hearts and souls of men and women who are enslaved in the bondage of sin and darkness. The hold on their hearts is just as valuable as their physical wellbeing, and I feel so blessed to come and help fight in that battle. I don’t ever want to take that lightly or ignore the reality of spiritual warfare that we will encounter as we fight in this battle.
“For we fight not against flesh and blood....”
Since my access to internet will not be consistent, I’ll try to keep an updated journal on my laptop and will post it to my blog when I can :o).
Well, my long anticipated 30 day outreach has begun. I’m not even sure if I believe that it is actually happening yet. Who would have imagined that God would orchestrate things as such and send me to Kyrgyzstan to be a part of His work here?!? I feel so blessed that He would speak to me in such a special and undeniable way, and then amaze me with His provision. He is so good and so faithful and I stand in awe of Him!
The trip has been interesting….lol. Wendy and I slept in the Budapest airport last night (with another student who was leaving the same morning to go back to the states). Other than being extremely cold and uncomfortable, it was laughable to wake up and find Wendy huddled in a blanket, a jacket, a hat, sprawled on top of her luggage…we looked homeless, haha. I knew it was bad when I was looking forward to sleeping on the plane!
We had a seven hour layover in Istanbul, Turkey, where we were so thankful to find that beautiful green sign that promised us a taste of home: STARBUCKS! We sat there for most of our layover :o).
Flying into Kyrgyzstan, was, for the most part uneventful, arriving at the airport at 4:30 in the morning. The US airbase is also stationed at the airport, so flying in a seeing our military planes on the tarmac was comforting in a way. In flying into Afghanistan, most military will travel through Kyrgyzstan, with it only being a country away. It was a reminder that the fight for freedom still continues and reignited my pride in my country and the men and women who serve to protect our freedoms and to give freedom to those who have never experienced it before. And just as they enter the battle field ready to fight for that cause, so I too was being called to enter a battlefield to fight for freedom, but this one for the hearts and souls of men and women who are enslaved in the bondage of sin and darkness. The hold on their hearts is just as valuable as their physical wellbeing, and I feel so blessed to come and help fight in that battle. I don’t ever want to take that lightly or ignore the reality of spiritual warfare that we will encounter as we fight in this battle.
“For we fight not against flesh and blood....”
5.20.08
I don’t think I have slept so much in my life! We arrived at 4:30 in the morning, an hour later arrived at Paul and Melanie’s house and went straight to bed. Around 2:30 we got up, and my biggest concern was that I was not going to be able to get over my jetlag due to how much I had just slept during the day….but that evening proved me wrong as I slept like a rock straight through the night…lol! Apparently the trip was more exhausting than I had realized.
It was a fairly relaxing day. We talked with Paul and Melanie, played with their little boys (Titus-2, Timothy-18 months, and Nehimehia-4 months), had dinner with a Kyrgyz couple from the church and had the opportunity to meet three of the girls from the outreach team that is hear from Ukraine. It was interesting to make the connection between different people that we all knew, either from the Bible College or from my ten day outreach to Ternopil, Ukraine…such a small world!
In talking to Paul and Melanie, it was interesting to find out more of the culture of the Kyrgyz people. Having been a part of the former Soviet Union, most people speak Russian, however with their close proximity to different Asian countries, the Kyrgyz people tend to look very oriental. And while 85 percent of the country is Muslim, they are also a very nomadic people, and because of this, when the Muslims came in, in an effort to convert them to the religion of Islam, there was never a strong rooting of the conservative Muslim traditions that occurred because they were constantly moving and changing locations. Today this translates into a culture that holds their Islamic beliefs very loosely. There are def those who are conservative in their faith and ascribe to their religion with tenacity and fervor, but for the most part, the Kyrgyz people are nominal Muslims. One of the biggest fears they face is the kidnapping of girls to become brides. There is no law against such practice, and for this reason we cannot go out on the streets by ourselves past dusk, because the threat is as real for us as for the Kyrgyz women.
The blessing, though, is that many have been coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but due to their nominal belief in Islam, they can sometimes have the same attitude towards their Christianity. Two of the women who have just become believers in the last several months are such an encouragement to me. They are so excited about the things of the Lord and desire to serve Him in whatever capacity they can. May my heart continue to reflect that same love and adoration for the One whose love for me is without compare.
5.22.08
This morning we (the team from Ukraine, Jed,
Paul, Michelle, two of the girls from the church here and myself) left bright and early to head into the mountains to the region of Talas. There is a family there who are believers from the states who are “working” in a village there and after not making much headway in a year asked Paul and Jed if they could bring a team in to do some ground breaking and seed scattering. Even though I was still a bit jet-lagged, I was so excited to see more of the country and to be a part of an outreach in a new area. The team from Bishkek has been praying about a possible church plant in that region, and this was a great opportunity to see the land and pray over the city.
The trip through the mountains took five hours, and although an extremely bumpy ride :o), it was breathtakingly beautiful! I have never seen mountains like that before, or been driving on a road at 180 kph through herds of sheep, cattle and horses! It was an experience I will not soon forget! Along the way we stopped at one of the groups of nomad homes and had sour horse milk….um, I think my picture will say it all…haha!
Once we arrived in Talas, we met with the family, their friend Nancy (who is from Glenside, PA…small world), and another believer, Lily, who has become a Kyrgyz grandmother to them…so sweet. After praying, we set out to talk to people on the streets and invite them to come over for dinner the next night to get to know us and the family there in the village. We spoke with a few people in the village, even encountered a group of Muslim men who wanted to debate about the trinity. Thankfully we left them on good terms, even though the discussion seemed to get a little heated.
After eating dinner back at the house, myself and six other people from the team headed to Lily’s house to spend the night. With no running water, using an outhouse and a pump for our water was an adventure....but Lily made up for it all with her desire to love on us and be our Kyrgyz grandmother while we were there. Her only request was that we remember her as we pray and to pray for the other believers that are in Talas, and to not forget them!
I don’t think I have slept so much in my life! We arrived at 4:30 in the morning, an hour later arrived at Paul and Melanie’s house and went straight to bed. Around 2:30 we got up, and my biggest concern was that I was not going to be able to get over my jetlag due to how much I had just slept during the day….but that evening proved me wrong as I slept like a rock straight through the night…lol! Apparently the trip was more exhausting than I had realized.
It was a fairly relaxing day. We talked with Paul and Melanie, played with their little boys (Titus-2, Timothy-18 months, and Nehimehia-4 months), had dinner with a Kyrgyz couple from the church and had the opportunity to meet three of the girls from the outreach team that is hear from Ukraine. It was interesting to make the connection between different people that we all knew, either from the Bible College or from my ten day outreach to Ternopil, Ukraine…such a small world!
In talking to Paul and Melanie, it was interesting to find out more of the culture of the Kyrgyz people. Having been a part of the former Soviet Union, most people speak Russian, however with their close proximity to different Asian countries, the Kyrgyz people tend to look very oriental. And while 85 percent of the country is Muslim, they are also a very nomadic people, and because of this, when the Muslims came in, in an effort to convert them to the religion of Islam, there was never a strong rooting of the conservative Muslim traditions that occurred because they were constantly moving and changing locations. Today this translates into a culture that holds their Islamic beliefs very loosely. There are def those who are conservative in their faith and ascribe to their religion with tenacity and fervor, but for the most part, the Kyrgyz people are nominal Muslims. One of the biggest fears they face is the kidnapping of girls to become brides. There is no law against such practice, and for this reason we cannot go out on the streets by ourselves past dusk, because the threat is as real for us as for the Kyrgyz women.
The blessing, though, is that many have been coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but due to their nominal belief in Islam, they can sometimes have the same attitude towards their Christianity. Two of the women who have just become believers in the last several months are such an encouragement to me. They are so excited about the things of the Lord and desire to serve Him in whatever capacity they can. May my heart continue to reflect that same love and adoration for the One whose love for me is without compare.
5.22.08
This morning we (the team from Ukraine, Jed,
Paul, Michelle, two of the girls from the church here and myself) left bright and early to head into the mountains to the region of Talas. There is a family there who are believers from the states who are “working” in a village there and after not making much headway in a year asked Paul and Jed if they could bring a team in to do some ground breaking and seed scattering. Even though I was still a bit jet-lagged, I was so excited to see more of the country and to be a part of an outreach in a new area. The team from Bishkek has been praying about a possible church plant in that region, and this was a great opportunity to see the land and pray over the city.The trip through the mountains took five hours, and although an extremely bumpy ride :o), it was breathtakingly beautiful! I have never seen mountains like that before, or been driving on a road at 180 kph through herds of sheep, cattle and horses! It was an experience I will not soon forget! Along the way we stopped at one of the groups of nomad homes and had sour horse milk….um, I think my picture will say it all…haha!
Once we arrived in Talas, we met with the family, their friend Nancy (who is from Glenside, PA…small world), and another believer, Lily, who has become a Kyrgyz grandmother to them…so sweet. After praying, we set out to talk to people on the streets and invite them to come over for dinner the next night to get to know us and the family there in the village. We spoke with a few people in the village, even encountered a group of Muslim men who wanted to debate about the trinity. Thankfully we left them on good terms, even though the discussion seemed to get a little heated.
After eating dinner back at the house, myself and six other people from the team headed to Lily’s house to spend the night. With no running water, using an outhouse and a pump for our water was an adventure....but Lily made up for it all with her desire to love on us and be our Kyrgyz grandmother while we were there. Her only request was that we remember her as we pray and to pray for the other believers that are in Talas, and to not forget them!
To see more pictures of my time in Talas:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125367&l=de67b&id=551790426
Saturday, May 17, 2008
His Faithfulness and my doubting heart
5.17.08
Well this is a bittersweet blog to write….
I can remember writing my first blog from this room in the castle, facing the unknown and anticipation of all that was going to happen in the following few months. It was a difficult thing to write, realizing all that I had left behind in the states, everyone I had said goodbye to, and flying halfway around the world to live with 100 other students who desired the things of the Lord more than the things of this world. In reality I had not a clue of all that God was going to do in and through me…I was totally unprepared! And I can honestly say that I would not have survived it had you not been on your knees for me.
As God has done heart surgery on me, dealt with the sin and weights that had so easily ensnared me, spoken words of comfort to me, used me in His ministry here in Europe and given me clear direction for the call He has placed on my life for the future, you have been faithfully standing by me, lifting me to His throne and walking this road with me…and for that I am truly thankful. You have blessed my heart by helping to lift my hands in the midst of the battle and encouraging me to press on toward the goal for the high calling of Jesus Christ!
And while I have been here, God has so lovingly given me a family that has grown very close to my heart….brothers and sisters who have been knit into the tapestry of my life and will be very hard to leave behind…yes, the hardest part of all of this is saying goodbye!
It has been an exhausting week of packing up and moving on…so many tears shed, goodbyes said and a heart that is been close to breaking many times! We have adopted the “see you later” stance, but in reality we know that for many of us, this is the last time we will see each other this side of eternity as we move home and into the fields of foreign countries.
In the midst of this all, though, I would be neglectful to not allow my heart to stir within me for the anticipation of the next step – my 30 day outreach to Kyrgyzstan! God is so faithful and the path has been paved for me to walk on….
As of a week ago I had no support for this outreach and had begun to settle in my heart the seeming reality that I was going to have to look at options of where to go before I was able to use my ticket for my flight home on June 16th (I didn’t even have enough in the bank to pay for my ticket to be changed to an earlier flight). I had been walking through the last two weeks waiting for the Lord to move, glancing occasionally at my bank account, but really trusting that the Lord would bring the money that was needed, for it was very obvious that He had set this outreach in motion. I really hadn’t stressed too much, but was quick to remind God that He was going to have to do it, because in my own striving I had nothing! It was Him or nothing!
On Friday, I had had a frustrating day of having more issues with my bank and my ATM card and had found out that there wasn’t really anything for me to do for the four weeks here at the castle before my flight home. The doubt hit me like a tidal wave! I went outside and wept tears of frustration and confusion. I began doubting everything I thought He has spoken to my heart about, every confirmation I thought I had received from Him. My prayer was that of a child grabbing her daddy’s leg and sobbing into it because she felt lost and confused. Where was He and why wasn’t He paying attention to what was going on?
Of course it is often when we come to the end of ourselves that we get out of the way and give God the room to actually work in the midst of the circumstances and blow us away with His provision. That evening, 15 min before curfew, I received an email from my sister telling me that the entire trip was covered! I went from nothing to everything, all within 5 hours! With the joy came shame, shame at my continual doubting heart and lack of trusting ALL that He had so clearly told me. “Lord, I believe, but please help my unbelief…”
And so the details have been worked out, the plane ticket bought, and my bags packed! I am ready (or think I am) for all that He has in store for these next four weeks! I cannot wait to see what He teaches me and how He uses the meager loaves and fishes that I bring to Him. I am His and only want to be used for His glory! I have been bought and am no longer my own!
My flight is on Monday at 10 am. We have a connection in Turkey and then will be heading directly into Kyrgyzstan! Please pray for safety as we travel, no issues entering or leaving the country, that I would have an open and flexible attitude, for the missionaries I will be working alongside and their families, and that God would use this time to reach hearts for Him. I will do my best to keep everyone updated with prayer requests and would covet your prayers for this outreach.
You are in my heart and prayers! I love you all!
In His grace ><>
Patricia
“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him..” Psalm 37:3-7
Well this is a bittersweet blog to write….
I can remember writing my first blog from this room in the castle, facing the unknown and anticipation of all that was going to happen in the following few months. It was a difficult thing to write, realizing all that I had left behind in the states, everyone I had said goodbye to, and flying halfway around the world to live with 100 other students who desired the things of the Lord more than the things of this world. In reality I had not a clue of all that God was going to do in and through me…I was totally unprepared! And I can honestly say that I would not have survived it had you not been on your knees for me.
As God has done heart surgery on me, dealt with the sin and weights that had so easily ensnared me, spoken words of comfort to me, used me in His ministry here in Europe and given me clear direction for the call He has placed on my life for the future, you have been faithfully standing by me, lifting me to His throne and walking this road with me…and for that I am truly thankful. You have blessed my heart by helping to lift my hands in the midst of the battle and encouraging me to press on toward the goal for the high calling of Jesus Christ!
And while I have been here, God has so lovingly given me a family that has grown very close to my heart….brothers and sisters who have been knit into the tapestry of my life and will be very hard to leave behind…yes, the hardest part of all of this is saying goodbye!
It has been an exhausting week of packing up and moving on…so many tears shed, goodbyes said and a heart that is been close to breaking many times! We have adopted the “see you later” stance, but in reality we know that for many of us, this is the last time we will see each other this side of eternity as we move home and into the fields of foreign countries.
In the midst of this all, though, I would be neglectful to not allow my heart to stir within me for the anticipation of the next step – my 30 day outreach to Kyrgyzstan! God is so faithful and the path has been paved for me to walk on….
As of a week ago I had no support for this outreach and had begun to settle in my heart the seeming reality that I was going to have to look at options of where to go before I was able to use my ticket for my flight home on June 16th (I didn’t even have enough in the bank to pay for my ticket to be changed to an earlier flight). I had been walking through the last two weeks waiting for the Lord to move, glancing occasionally at my bank account, but really trusting that the Lord would bring the money that was needed, for it was very obvious that He had set this outreach in motion. I really hadn’t stressed too much, but was quick to remind God that He was going to have to do it, because in my own striving I had nothing! It was Him or nothing!
On Friday, I had had a frustrating day of having more issues with my bank and my ATM card and had found out that there wasn’t really anything for me to do for the four weeks here at the castle before my flight home. The doubt hit me like a tidal wave! I went outside and wept tears of frustration and confusion. I began doubting everything I thought He has spoken to my heart about, every confirmation I thought I had received from Him. My prayer was that of a child grabbing her daddy’s leg and sobbing into it because she felt lost and confused. Where was He and why wasn’t He paying attention to what was going on?
Of course it is often when we come to the end of ourselves that we get out of the way and give God the room to actually work in the midst of the circumstances and blow us away with His provision. That evening, 15 min before curfew, I received an email from my sister telling me that the entire trip was covered! I went from nothing to everything, all within 5 hours! With the joy came shame, shame at my continual doubting heart and lack of trusting ALL that He had so clearly told me. “Lord, I believe, but please help my unbelief…”
And so the details have been worked out, the plane ticket bought, and my bags packed! I am ready (or think I am) for all that He has in store for these next four weeks! I cannot wait to see what He teaches me and how He uses the meager loaves and fishes that I bring to Him. I am His and only want to be used for His glory! I have been bought and am no longer my own!
My flight is on Monday at 10 am. We have a connection in Turkey and then will be heading directly into Kyrgyzstan! Please pray for safety as we travel, no issues entering or leaving the country, that I would have an open and flexible attitude, for the missionaries I will be working alongside and their families, and that God would use this time to reach hearts for Him. I will do my best to keep everyone updated with prayer requests and would covet your prayers for this outreach.
You are in my heart and prayers! I love you all!
In His grace ><>
Patricia
“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him..” Psalm 37:3-7
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