My dear sweet sister...

An exerp from an email from my sister:

My dear sweet sister....
I decided to sit here at my computer and compose for you a letter that we will call your return letter. Remember that letter I wrote right before you left? I know that the person who left four months ago is coming home changed. But I also know that my sister whom I love so much is still the same sister who will climb into my bed and try to snuggle when I just want my space. Its the same person who will sit on the porch and drink coffee with me and jump up and down at church for the kids. I have missed you so so much! Now more than ever! I missed you when it snowed and no one wanted to go walk in the snow and here the "Babbling brook!" or hide from cars. I missed you on memorial day when no one wanted to wear matching shirts with me. I missed you at the beach when I took pictures of everyone one but you and I never once went to Java Janes, and no one was there to watch Jag with me. I missed you whenever I cleaned the bathroom....(ok...that one was selfish) Wow! Who would have know that so much would change in just 4 short months. God literally stripped everything away! And I know it hurt and I know that it was painful, but God didn't leave you in the fire longer than necessary. He knew what you needed and He loved you enough to carry you through it. I wish I could have been there to hug you through the hard times, and I wish you could have been here to hug me through my hurts as well.....but that's not what God wanted. His ways are so much better than ours. Ok....now this is evidence of change...I'm sitting here crying!!! I'm crying! Wow....that's a new one. Can you imagine if you hadn't gone to Hungary? What if you had gone to school in TN or Israel? Would you have met the people that you did? Would you have learned what you learned? Would you have been able to minister to those that you ministered to? Praise Him Tricia. Praise Him for what He did and what He will do.

And now its time to come home. Its going to be hard...I know you have been praying about this, and so have I. God is faithful. Just ask for His peace. I love you so so much. People at church are starting to get annoyed at my counting down till you get home. But I am so excited! See you soon!

Sarah I love and miss you and can't wait to give you a huge hug! Bring tissues...we are going to need them :o)

Saying Goodbye

6.13.08

The time has come to say goodbye…I can’t believe my four weeks are already over. It will be harder to say goodbye than I had anticipated. When I arrived here a month ago, it was a difficult time for me…I missed my family, I felt every day of my absence very deeply, and I was ready to head home. But God remains faithful and knew that even that was a part of His teaching me the deeper lessons of what it means to follow Him and to yield to His leading. I have been faced with so many emotions and different situations; I have experienced the frustration of a language barrier, the sorrow of watching the lost die, the joy and ache of playing with those who are without parents and rejected by the world, the excitement of working along side the team as God grows the ministry here, the accomplishment of idea gathering and watching the children of the church grasp onto God’s truths, the successes of functioning in a city where I once felt alone and lost, the need to see and touch my family, the peace in knowing that God has placed a desire in my heart for His purposes, an anticipation of waiting for Him to show me, a sadness in saying goodbye. In all of this I saw Jesus, I felt His tears, I looked in His eyes, I touched His face….He was in the laughter and the giggles of the children, He was in the desperation of the homeless, He was in the room of the dieing….I experienced Jesus during this trip like I have never before! Each moment and memory I want to cling to, each face I want etched into my heart and across my mind…I do not want to forget all that He showed me…I do not want to forget all that He spoke to me….I do not want to forget!

To see more pictures of my trip:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125195&l=7e84d&id=551790426

The Little Things

6.12.08

Today was an exciting day! After looking up several words in our Russian/English dictionary (and writing them on the back of Crystal’s hand..haha), Crystal (one of the missionary’s sister who is visiting for 2 months) and I headed down to the Renock to fend for ourselves. It was so much fun! There were def some laughable moments…but for the most part we did well…trying different foods we were contemplating buying, asking for the amount we wanted, and finding the best deals. After our first success of communicating what we wanted and how much, we did the very American thing to do by giving each other a high five, beaming with the excitements of accomplishment. When we came back to the apartment, carrying our many treasures (almonds, dried Kiwi, apples, raisins, apricots, and plums) Katie gave us a look and asked if we were hungry. We were happy girls :o) It is the little success here that sometimes mean the most :o) To be a part of the culture, to be caught up in the flow of life here is such a great feeling. And it seems like it is coming just in time for me to come home.

6.13.08

The time has come to say goodbye…I can’t believe my four weeks are already over. It will be harder to say goodbye than I had anticipated. When I arrived here a month ago, it was a difficult time for me…I missed my family, I felt every day of my absence very deeply, and I was ready to head home. But God remains faithful and knew that even that was a part of His teaching me the deeper lessons of what it means to follow Him and to yield to His leading. I have been faced with so many emotions and different situations; I have experienced the frustration of a language barrier, the sorrow of watching the lost die, the joy and ache of playing with those who are without parents and rejected by the world, the excitement of working along side the team as God grows the ministry here, the accomplishment of idea gathering and watching the children of the church grasp onto God’s truths, the successes of functioning in a city where I once felt alone and lost, the need to see and touch my family, the peace in knowing that God has placed a desire in my heart for His purposes, an anticipation of waiting for Him to show me, a sadness in saying goodbye. In all of this I saw Jesus, I felt His tears, I looked in His eyes, I touched His face….He was in the laughter and the giggles of the children, He was in the desperation of the homeless, He was in the room of the dieing….I experienced Jesus during this trip like I have never before! Each moment and memory I want to cling to, each face I want etched into my heart and across my mind…I do not want to forget all that He showed me…I do not want to forget all that He spoke to me….I do not want to forget!


http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125195&l=7e84d&id=551790426

A part of the team....

6.9.08

Well, another weekend has gone quickly by! The heat has been a killer as we try to function in basic, everyday tasks. Tracy (another missionary staying at Mel and Paul’s house with me) and I often find ourselves needing a nap in the middle of the day because we are so exhausted from the amount and intensity of the sun here and the way the heat drains you. Over the weekend we reached temperatures of 109 degrees!

On Sunday we decided to split the kids into two “classes” to teach and instituted a number system for the nursery kids that would alleviate the parent’s need to constantly check on their children throughout the service and give the nursery workers a more discreet way of letting parents know if they were needed. I was asked to put a skit together of the story of Job to perform during the time of kids worship before we broke the kids up into two different age groups. It was so much fun to dress some of the team up to perform for the kids…they were great sports! It seems to be a time of trying out different strategies and ideas to see what will work best for this fast growing ministry! I feel so blessed to be a part of it at this time. It is always such a blessing to see His little ones learning the truth and getting excited about Him.

After the service a group of us headed over to the hospital. We first went to the dieing ward of the cancer hospital to visit with the patients there. Although we could not find the women we had been speaking to previously, we did have the opportunity to talk to another woman who was so excited to have company because “no one ever comes to visit her.” We were able to share the truth with her. We gave her a Bible and she said she would read it. It is so amazing to me how many things we take for granted in America that are foreign concepts here. Many people have never had a Bible, much less read anything from the Bible. Many have never heard of John 3:16 or know who Jesus is. And when they say they will read something, they mean that they will really read and consider it! This is truly pioneering work..

Sadly, what they do know about Christianity stems from the church of Jesus Christ. Members from this church will go through the hospitals handing out pamphlets of their doctrine and pray in tongues over people. Much of what they preach is the “name it claim it” and wealth and prosperity theology. They believe that men have a right to divorce their wives if they have the “spirit of Jezebel” (if they do not clean or cook enough, among other trivial issues) and do not preach eternal security in salvation. Needless to say there are many broken and hurting people who have come from that church and are seeking healing at Calvary Chapel. Many do not understand grace or true forgiveness and are very confused in their belief about Jesus and what He teaches. In addition to that, we will often talk with people who have been given a misguided representation of Jesus and His heart for people. It has been such a privilege to be a part of His work and showing who He really is and His love for people.

After speaking with that woman for 20 min it was noticeable that she was exhausted from the effort it took to carry on even a short conversation, so we left and went into the children’s building and asked if we could go outside in the yard and play with some of the kids who were sitting out there (and looking very bored). Surprisingly, they said yes and allowed us to go and play with them. We sang songs with several of them, taught them “Head and shoulders knees and toes” to them in English, and they taught it to us in Kyrgyz, and had fun being silly with them. What a beautiful sound to hear them laugh at our silly accents and to see smiles on their faces amidst their suffering and pain.

Their limited resources here never cease to amaze me. Many die unnecessarily because they do not have basic things. If a baby is born prematurely, it is very unlikely they will survive because they do not have incubators or even masks small enough to fit on a preme. The only thing they have are heating pads that they will lay the babies on, and hope they make it. And if grants are given to supply a village with an incubator, many doctors have such limited training that they don’t know what to use it for and end up covering it with a table cloth and placing a vase of flowers on it to use as decoration in their offices. I will forever look at things differently from my experience being here. I pray that God would continue to allow me to be affected by the great need here and the affluence that I take for granted at home.

Life in Kyrgyzstan

6.4.08

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold, my high tower, my savior, the one who saves me….” – 2 Samuel 22:2-3

There is such comfort in these verses. As we went to the hospital yesterday, passed out fruit in the children’s ward and the dieing ward of the hospital, it really put many things into perspective. Without Christ as my hope and salvation, without Him as my rock and strength, I am nothing, I have nothing, and I can do nothing. So much suffering with such little resources, so many empty faces who have no hope….I find myself crying out to God to make some sense of it. The darkness can feel so heavy, the people so hopeless…and many do not want to listen. It breaks my heart….the children especially. And as Katie prayed before we went in, these are the people that Jesus would have spent time ministering to…He came to bring hope to the hopeless, the sick, the dieing: spiritually and physically.

Amidst it all, though, we did meet with a women who is a Believer who Katie had talked to before. She had such a huge smile on her face as she greeted us and held Katie’s hand. She asked that we would come visit her village and preach there once she is better and able to go home. With tears in her eyes and a smile on her face she told us that we are close to her because we are a family in Jesus. What a contrast to those we had met who do not know Jesus and were not very open to listening.

Later that day we met in the park again for English club, although not many people showed up because it had been so hot that day that many were hiding at home. It was a good time of fellowship, though, as we played games and hung out together. I’m coming to relish the times of sweet fellowship with the team and those from the church who are excited about their relationship with the Lord. Lonya, Daniel, and Yadak came, as well as Delya. They are teens in the church who got saved in the past year and a half and are on fire for sharing with others and being a part of God’s work in Kyrgyzstan….they are such a blessing!

Please pray, when I came home last night I crashed with a terrible headache and stomach ache :o( I pray that I am not coming down with something…pray I keep well hydrated in this heat (it is suppose to be 45 C today!) and that God would be my strength and sustain me.

6.5.08

Our God is so good to give us exactly what we need right when we need it! In my devotions this morning my heart was desiring that God would speak to me…I feel like during my time here He has been quiet. I have been watching Him work, seeing Him grow those around me, but I want to hear His voice in the midst of this time. I have also felt at times VERY ineffective due to the language barrier, and that can be so frustrating! I never wanted to be a burden to those serving here full time…I wanted to be able to give something back to the team…to really be a part of the team while I am here.

In His faithfulness, God answered my prayers…
Several from the team, and myself, met at Jed and Renee’s house this morning to talk about children’s ministry and brainstorm ideas for the growth of the ministry and the needs of the kids (language needs, size of the group of kids, etc.). It was such a great time of being able to contribute using past experiences and drawing from how we do things at my church (both recalling the beginning days of one Sunday school class during the one service we had at our church to the present with three services and multiple classes for each age group). So many things we want to do and try out, yet my time here is quickly passing and what is left seems so short!

As I sat there and thought of different games and crafts, verse review strategies and songs, puppet and drama skits, I couldn’t help but think of all the things I would pack in a suitcase to bring back if I could return….and that is when God spoke to me. I’m still seeking Him in regards to the future, and would ask that you would do the same, but I know in my heart that He has brought me here for a purpose and that there is much to be done. Everyday seems to bring a new opportunity to share His word and equip many with the truth. I’m finally feeling like I fit with the team here and seem to have found my niche….but as to how the Lord is leading for the future, well, I am still praying. As I told Yadak today after the Wednesday night service, in response to His question of if I was coming back, “Bog zniet, ya nez zniu” (God knows, I do not know).

More Adventures

5.30.08

Well today it was in the high 90’s for most of the day…I can’t seem to drink enough water to keep hydrated! It doesn’t feel like it should be the end of May, but rather the end of July! And yet even with the oppressively hot weather life still goes on at its normal pace and with no air conditioning.

Wendy and I got a call this morning from Melanie about a ballet recital in town and wanted to know if we wanted to meet her…after the phone getting cut off several times (the phone lines are very bad here in Kyrgyzstan), we took a Taxi using the broken Russian we had and giving him the names of the streets we thought we heard…we knew we were in for an adventure. After spending a 100 som on the Taxi (which is expensive here, but only 3 dollars in the US), we arrived at what we thought was our destination. We walked one block in each direction before coming to the conclusion that we didn’t really know where we were and were probably not going to find Melanie. So we began to walk in hopes of figuring out where we were (and this is what my day often looks like…hoping to go to a destination, only to find myself walking several blocks before I figure out where I really am…the reality of figuring out a new city in Central Asia where I speak very little of the language…it’s good training :o).

We ended up on one of the main roads in the center of town. We grabbed some stuff from one of the stores in town for lunch (Beta is one of the higher end stores and sells a lot of American groceries that you cannot find anywhere else, but often at VERY high prices…Peanut butter for $7 a jar, Philadelphia Cream Cheese for $40 for a large block, boxed cake mixes for $10 a box…needless to say we get our food from the Renock – Bizarre, and eat what the locals eat – lots of bread, rice, beans, cucumber and tomato salads, fresh fruit like cherries, strawberries and apricots are really cheap and in season now - $1 for a kg = 2.2lbs…also lots of dried fruit like Kiwi, mango, and apricots…their raisins and nuts are amazing and super cheap too). After eating their amazing yogurt and drinking Cactus juice (so good!), we headed back to find a Marcuka to take us home.

Marchukas are one of the main means of transportation throughout the city. They are little buses (like a 10 seater van), but hold most of the time up to 35 people! It is crazy! When you get on you pray that the people you are standing with have taken a shower as you are pressed up VERY close to them and that you can have some sense of where to get off because there are no formal “stops” along the way and it is often too crowded to see out a window to figure out where you are and if you have arrived at your destination. And then imagine all of this in 98 degree weather on a Marcuka with no AC and one vent in the ceiling! That is when the prayer that you do not pass out is said. Thankfully we arrived home, ready to take another shower, but home safe none-the-less :o)

The Orphanage

This afternoon we went back to the orphanage and spent time with the kids we met last week. It was more low key, but such a blessing. So many smiling faces and little hands reaching out to be touched and held! Many of the kids were not there today as some of them were being moved to other orphanages or stayed inside because it was so hot.

We found some shade and sang songs and played games with them. While we cannot overtly share the gospel with them, we can tell them things on an individual level and many of them know the Bible songs that Katie sings with them. A lot of them have issues with their clef pallet and are there because their families do not want them because of their deformities. It is sad because most of them are not even being taught how to speak Russian properly and many on the team find themselves correcting their poorly spoken Russian, even though it is their second language….the workers just don’t care to take the time to work with the kids. There is also so much inaccurate myths that the kids are told, like the fact that if they get cold water on them (even though it is in the high 90s), they will get sick…so many did not want any water to get on them as we tried to play with the kids in an effort to keep them cool.

Through it all, we pray that they would see the love of Jesus in us as we play with them, sing with them and give them lots of love that they are so starved for! You can’t help but hug them and kiss their dirty little cheeks…and are often rewarded with lots of giggles and smiles! I don’t want to think about saying goodbye….

6.3.08

Wendy leaves today…*sigh* It has been great to do the first two weeks with her…it will be hard to do the last two without her! It has been a great past couple days as we have crammed in so much in her last few days….crazy food experiments with apple crepes and lava cake, buying dresses as the Renock, sharing pictures and music, taking pictures, watching a movie and just enjoying the time together fellowshipping…it has been so much fun!

Amidst it all, we had a full day on Saturday, with worship practice in the morning, helping the team from Ukraine make Boarch, and then Women’s Bible study and fellowship. I was encouraged as I listened to Renee teach in Russian and was able to identify words and phrases before Tracey had translated it for me! Little by little….
Sadly, Saturday night we had to say goodbye to the team from Ukraine. It is amazing how close you can become despite language barriers and cultural distances….in Jesus it just feels like family…I will miss them!

Sunday was a busy day of church….we leave the house at 7:45am, head to the hall to clean it and set everything up, have worship practice (this morning the electricity was cut off until 9:30…church begins at 10am), and then church and fellowship. I helped out in the nursery during worship and then jumped over to the older kids once the service began. Katie and I had planned a craft the night before and I was thankful I was able to bring some fresh game ideas to play with the kids. I’m often finding myself trying to think back to when my church was fairly small with only one service…when all the ages of kids were in one class together (Mrs. Z’s class :o). It is helpful to draw from those experiences as I find myself helping out in another church plant with similar challenges…only this one is half way around the world :o).

Sunday night and Monday was our time of rest….
I don’t think I realized how important that time of rest can be or how draining a day of serving and pouring into the lives of others can be…without really resting in the Lord what we have to give is often from striving in the flesh and not God’s best. Our time with Him is more important than the “job” we think we have to do for Him…and when we lose sight of that, He is faithful to remind us, sometimes by allowing us to get so run down that our bodies get sick. Last week ended up being that time as almost everyone came down with some type of stomach bug that landed them in bed for 24hours. Thankfully everyone seems to have recovered from it, but we are all a little more cautious in our cleaning and resting.

Frustration....

Well I am finally sitting here with internet connection and it will not allow me to paste my blog from my word doc into my actual blog! Grrrrrr.....

So, for now, please know that I covet your prayers and support! This has been a time of seeking and searching for the Lord and I have struggled through a lot as I have seen so much hopelessness and need! I love and miss you all and canot wait to see you all soon!