Pulses of My Heart

TO Save a Life – Who Saved Yours?

2010-01-23T05:14:00.001-08:00

7^th grade, Becky Tirrell. She saved mine, even before I knew I needed the saving. I was a kid struggling to keep my head above the water, not unlike many that age. My parents got their divorce when I was 8. I was angry and miserable and searching for love "in all the wrong places." I had been bombarded in elementary school with my own peer "sex education," and to be honest it intrigued me. Slipping through the cracks, my mom and step-dad pulled me out of public school to home school me. The peer pressure didn't end there. I was still extremely lonely and scared, so insecure that all I could do was hide behind my hair and pray to God that no one would talk to me. I would step out occasionally. I wanted to try to fit in, just like everyone else, even if it meant hanging out with the wrong group of friends. And that's about how Becky found me. I didn't know how much I would need her, but God did. I know that I would not be the person I am today had that "intervention" not happened. Of course I don't think Becky had (or has) any idea what her friendship meant in my life. She was just there, at the right time in the right place, and ready to be used by God.

I'm not reflecting on this treasured, 16 year old memory because I am suddenly overcome with nostalgia, but rather because I went to the movies. I know, life altering, right? Well, actually, yes, it was. I went to see the screening of the film "To Save a Life." Words cannot express to you the thoughts and tears that accompanied me on my drive home from the theater. It was beyond powerful. It has to be the most relevant film I have ever seen. I can only pray that God will use what He has done in my heart tonight to mold me closer to the image of His Son. Lord, change me!

Without giving the story away, a teenager named Jake is faced with the loss of a childhood friend. A friend who he rejected in order to be a part of the "in" crowd in high school, who ends up taking his life because of the loneliness and worthlessness that he feels trapped by. Faced with guilt and remorse, Jake's life begins to crumble. So what is the logical thing that would occur in any "good" Christian movie? That Jack would get saved, right? Wrong. Instead he walks into the church and finds it crawling with hypocrites and "fakers," teenagers too lukewarm to know what it means to be sold out. He walks away. And so would I, except I know that I was once one of them, and still can be. Lord, forgive me!

Jake does return, but only because he is faced with a challenge from a dynamic youth leader to not "just become a Christian." Along the journey Jake learns the hard way what it means to really know Christ and live for Him, despite the imperfections that prevail in his life. The real test of faith is when we are willing to trust Him even when our world continues to crumble and the euphoric "new believer" feelings have left us. And can we trust Him enough with our lives that we are able to stand in the gap for those around us?

Needless to say this movie evoked some very deep and long over do soul searching. I can't say I was pleased with what I found. The epidemic of teenage related issues is huge. But I know that it doesn't end there. College can be just as defining in a person's life direction. And even beyond, our world is filled with hurting people, silently crying out, hiding behind a plastic smile and a "I'm fine." We just have to open our eyes and look. I know the excuses; I use them all the time. "I'm sorry, I'm just too busy," or "Maybe another time, my schedule is packed this week," or better yet "You should talk to the pastor about that," after all he would know what to say better than I would, right? Shame on us, shame on me!

"If we say we know God, but have not love, we are liars." I write these things with my finger pointed straight at my heart. Again, God forgive me and please change me. If we want to know Him, then we have to love. And if we want to love, then we need to make ourselves available to be used by Him. No "if"s, "and"s or "but"s. It may not be how we expect (actually, most likely nothing like how we expect), nor will it always be easy or convenient. In fact, it just might hurt. So what is more important, my time or His glory? I know I am going to have to pray for a daily reminder of this, maybe even hourly. And I am going to need accountability. But is it worth it to save a life? Definitely!

The Wanderings of a Heart

2010-01-23T05:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back. Not sure if anyone will even realize, but here I am! It's been a strange and unexpected year and a half, but God has taught me a lot and changed my heart in so may ways. I really don't know where this road will lead (but, then again, do we ever?), however I am willing to let go and trust that He knows the plans He has for me and they are good!

My dear sweet sister...

2008-06-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

An exerp from an email from my sister:

My dear sweet sister....
I decided to sit here at my computer and compose for you a letter that we will call your return letter. Remember that letter I wrote right before you left? I know that the person who left four months ago is coming home changed. But I also know that my sister whom I love so much is still the same sister who will climb into my bed and try to snuggle when I just want my space. Its the same person who will sit on the porch and drink coffee with me and jump up and down at church for the kids. I have missed you so so much! Now more than ever! I missed you when it snowed and no one wanted to go walk in the snow and here the "Babbling brook!" or hide from cars. I missed you on memorial day when no one wanted to wear matching shirts with me. I missed you at the beach when I took pictures of everyone one but you and I never once went to Java Janes, and no one was there to watch Jag with me. I missed you whenever I cleaned the bathroom....(ok...that one was selfish) Wow! Who would have know that so much would change in just 4 short months. God literally stripped everything away! And I know it hurt and I know that it was painful, but God didn't leave you in the fire longer than necessary. He knew what you needed and He loved you enough to carry you through it. I wish I could have been there to hug you through the hard times, and I wish you could have been here to hug me through my hurts as well.....but that's not what God wanted. His ways are so much better than ours. Ok....now this is evidence of change...I'm sitting here crying!!! I'm crying! Wow....that's a new one. Can you imagine if you hadn't gone to Hungary? What if you had gone to school in TN or Israel? Would you have met the people that you did? Would you have learned what you learned? Would you have been able to minister to those that you ministered to? Praise Him Tricia. Praise Him for what He did and what He will do.

And now its time to come home. Its going to be hard...I know you have been praying about this, and so have I. God is faithful. Just ask for His peace. I love you so so much. People at church are starting to get annoyed at my counting down till you get home. But I am so excited! See you soon!

Sarah I love and miss you and can't wait to give you a huge hug! Bring tissues...we are going to need them :o)

Saying Goodbye

2008-06-15T03:26:00.000-07:00

6.13.08

The time has come to say goodbye…I can’t believe my four weeks are already over. It will be harder to say goodbye than I had anticipated. When I arrived here a month ago, it was a difficult time for me…I missed my family, I felt every day of my absence very deeply, and I was ready to head home. But God remains faithful and knew that even that was a part of His teaching me the deeper lessons of what it means to follow Him and to yield to His leading. I have been faced with so many emotions and different situations; I have experienced the frustration of a language barrier, the sorrow of watching the lost die, the joy and ache of playing with those who are without parents and rejected by the world, the excitement of working along side the team as God grows the ministry here, the accomplishment of idea gathering and watching the children of the church grasp onto God’s truths, the successes of functioning in a city where I once felt alone and lost, the need to see and touch my family, the peace in knowing that God has placed a desire in my heart for His purposes, an anticipation of waiting for Him to show me, a sadness in saying goodbye. In all of this I saw Jesus, I felt His tears, I looked in His eyes, I touched His face….He was in the laughter and the giggles of the children, He was in the desperation of the homeless, He was in the room of the dieing….I experienced Jesus during this trip like I have never before! Each moment and memory I want to cling to, each face I want etched into my heart and across my mind…I do not want to forget all that He showed me…I do not want to forget all that He spoke to me….I do not want to forget!

To see more pictures of my trip:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125195&l=7e84d&id=551790426

The Little Things

2008-06-15T03:08:00.000-07:00

6.12.08

Today was an exciting day! After looking up several words in our Russian/English dictionary (and writing them on the back of Crystal’s hand..haha), Crystal (one of the missionary’s sister who is visiting for 2 months) and I headed down to the Renock to fend for ourselves. It was so much fun! There were def some laughable moments…but for the most part we did well…trying different foods we were contemplating buying, asking for the amount we wanted, and finding the best deals. After our first success of communicating what we wanted and how much, we did the very American thing to do by giving each other a high five, beaming with the excitements of accomplishment. When we came back to the apartment, carrying our many treasures (almonds, dried Kiwi, apples, raisins, apricots, and plums) Katie gave us a look and asked if we were hungry. We were happy girls :o) It is the little success here that sometimes mean the most :o) To be a part of the culture, to be caught up in the flow of life here is such a great feeling. And it seems like it is coming just in time for me to come home.

6.13.08

The time has come to say goodbye…I can’t believe my four weeks are already over. It will be harder to say goodbye than I had anticipated. When I arrived here a month ago, it was a difficult time for me…I missed my family, I felt every day of my absence very deeply, and I was ready to head home. But God remains faithful and knew that even that was a part of His teaching me the deeper lessons of what it means to follow Him and to yield to His leading. I have been faced with so many emotions and different situations; I have experienced the frustration of a language barrier, the sorrow of watching the lost die, the joy and ache of playing with those who are without parents and rejected by the world, the excitement of working along side the team as God grows the ministry here, the accomplishment of idea gathering and watching the children of the church grasp onto God’s truths, the successes of functioning in a city where I once felt alone and lost, the need to see and touch my family, the peace in knowing that God has placed a desire in my heart for His purposes, an anticipation of waiting for Him to show me, a sadness in saying goodbye. In all of this I saw Jesus, I felt His tears, I looked in His eyes, I touched His face….He was in the laughter and the giggles of the children, He was in the desperation of the homeless, He was in the room of the dieing….I experienced Jesus during this trip like I have never before! Each moment and memory I want to cling to, each face I want etched into my heart and across my mind…I do not want to forget all that He showed me…I do not want to forget all that He spoke to me….I do not want to forget!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125195&l=7e84d&id=551790426

A part of the team....

2008-06-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

6.9.08

Well, another weekend has gone quickly by! The heat has been a killer as we try to function in basic, everyday tasks. Tracy (another missionary staying at Mel and Paul’s house with me) and I often find ourselves needing a nap in the middle of the day because we are so exhausted from the amount and intensity of the sun here and the way the heat drains you. Over the weekend we reached temperatures of 109 degrees!

On Sunday we decided to split the kids into two “classes” to teach and instituted a number system for the nursery kids that would alleviate the parent’s need to constantly check on their children throughout the service and give the nursery workers a more discreet way of letting parents know if they were needed. I was asked to put a skit together of the story of Job to perform during the time of kids worship before we broke the kids up into two different age groups. It was so much fun to dress some of the team up to perform for the kids…they were great sports! It seems to be a time of trying out different strategies and ideas to see what will work best for this fast growing ministry! I feel so blessed to be a part of it at this time. It is always such a blessing to see His little ones learning the truth and getting excited about Him.

After the service a group of us headed over to the hospital. We first went to the dieing ward of the cancer hospital to visit with the patients there. Although we could not find the women we had been speaking to previously, we did have the opportunity to talk to another woman who was so excited to have company because “no one ever comes to visit her.” We were able to share the truth with her. We gave her a Bible and she said she would read it. It is so amazing to me how many things we take for granted in America that are foreign concepts here. Many people have never had a Bible, much less read anything from the Bible. Many have never heard of John 3:16 or know who Jesus is. And when they say they will read something, they mean that they will really read and consider it! This is truly pioneering work..

Sadly, what they do know about Christianity stems from the church of Jesus Christ. Members from this church will go through the hospitals handing out pamphlets of their doctrine and pray in tongues over people. Much of what they preach is the “name it claim it” and wealth and prosperity theology. They believe that men have a right to divorce their wives if they have the “spirit of Jezebel” (if they do not clean or cook enough, among other trivial issues) and do not preach eternal security in salvation. Needless to say there are many broken and hurting people who have come from that church and are seeking healing at Calvary Chapel. Many do not understand grace or true forgiveness and are very confused in their belief about Jesus and what He teaches. In addition to that, we will often talk with people who have been given a misguided representation of Jesus and His heart for people. It has been such a privilege to be a part of His work and showing who He really is and His love for people.

After speaking with that woman for 20 min it was noticeable that she was exhausted from the effort it took to carry on even a short conversation, so we left and went into the children’s building and asked if we could go outside in the yard and play with some of the kids who were sitting out there (and looking very bored). Surprisingly, they said yes and allowed us to go and play with them. We sang songs with several of them, taught them “Head and shoulders knees and toes” to them in English, and they taught it to us in Kyrgyz, and had fun being silly with them. What a beautiful sound to hear them laugh at our silly accents and to see smiles on their faces amidst their suffering and pain.

Their limited resources here never cease to amaze me. Many die unnecessarily because they do not have basic things. If a baby is born prematurely, it is very unlikely they will survive because they do not have incubators or even masks small enough to fit on a preme. The only thing they have are heating pads that they will lay the babies on, and hope they make it. And if grants are given to supply a village with an incubator, many doctors have such limited training that they don’t know what to use it for and end up covering it with a table cloth and placing a vase of flowers on it to use as decoration in their offices. I will forever look at things differently from my experience being here. I pray that God would continue to allow me to be affected by the great need here and the affluence that I take for granted at home.

Life in Kyrgyzstan

2008-06-10T01:32:00.000-07:00

6.4.08

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold, my high tower, my savior, the one who saves me….” – 2 Samuel 22:2-3

There is such comfort in these verses. As we went to the hospital yesterday, passed out fruit in the children’s ward and the dieing ward of the hospital, it really put many things into perspective. Without Christ as my hope and salvation, without Him as my rock and strength, I am nothing, I have nothing, and I can do nothing. So much suffering with such little resources, so many empty faces who have no hope….I find myself crying out to God to make some sense of it. The darkness can feel so heavy, the people so hopeless…and many do not want to listen. It breaks my heart….the children especially. And as Katie prayed before we went in, these are the people that Jesus would have spent time ministering to…He came to bring hope to the hopeless, the sick, the dieing: spiritually and physically.

Amidst it all, though, we did meet with a women who is a Believer who Katie had talked to before. She had such a huge smile on her face as she greeted us and held Katie’s hand. She asked that we would come visit her village and preach there once she is better and able to go home. With tears in her eyes and a smile on her face she told us that we are close to her because we are a family in Jesus. What a contrast to those we had met who do not know Jesus and were not very open to listening.

Later that day we met in the park again for English club, although not many people showed up because it had been so hot that day that many were hiding at home. It was a good time of fellowship, though, as we played games and hung out together. I’m coming to relish the times of sweet fellowship with the team and those from the church who are excited about their relationship with the Lord. Lonya, Daniel, and Yadak came, as well as Delya. They are teens in the church who got saved in the past year and a half and are on fire for sharing with others and being a part of God’s work in Kyrgyzstan….they are such a blessing!

Please pray, when I came home last night I crashed with a terrible headache and stomach ache :o( I pray that I am not coming down with something…pray I keep well hydrated in this heat (it is suppose to be 45 C today!) and that God would be my strength and sustain me.

6.5.08

Our God is so good to give us exactly what we need right when we need it! In my devotions this morning my heart was desiring that God would speak to me…I feel like during my time here He has been quiet. I have been watching Him work, seeing Him grow those around me, but I want to hear His voice in the midst of this time. I have also felt at times VERY ineffective due to the language barrier, and that can be so frustrating! I never wanted to be a burden to those serving here full time…I wanted to be able to give something back to the team…to really be a part of the team while I am here.

In His faithfulness, God answered my prayers…
Several from the team, and myself, met at Jed and Renee’s house this morning to talk about children’s ministry and brainstorm ideas for the growth of the ministry and the needs of the kids (language needs, size of the group of kids, etc.). It was such a great time of being able to contribute using past experiences and drawing from how we do things at my church (both recalling the beginning days of one Sunday school class during the one service we had at our church to the present with three services and multiple classes for each age group). So many things we want to do and try out, yet my time here is quickly passing and what is left seems so short!

As I sat there and thought of different games and crafts, verse review strategies and songs, puppet and drama skits, I couldn’t help but think of all the things I would pack in a suitcase to bring back if I could return….and that is when God spoke to me. I’m still seeking Him in regards to the future, and would ask that you would do the same, but I know in my heart that He has brought me here for a purpose and that there is much to be done. Everyday seems to bring a new opportunity to share His word and equip many with the truth. I’m finally feeling like I fit with the team here and seem to have found my niche….but as to how the Lord is leading for the future, well, I am still praying. As I told Yadak today after the Wednesday night service, in response to His question of if I was coming back, “Bog zniet, ya nez zniu” (God knows, I do not know).

More Adventures

2008-06-10T01:18:00.000-07:00

5.30.08

Well today it was in the high 90’s for most of the day…I can’t seem to drink enough water to keep hydrated! It doesn’t feel like it should be the end of May, but rather the end of July! And yet even with the oppressively hot weather life still goes on at its normal pace and with no air conditioning.

Wendy and I got a call this morning from Melanie about a ballet recital in town and wanted to know if we wanted to meet her…after the phone getting cut off several times (the phone lines are very bad here in Kyrgyzstan), we took a Taxi using the broken Russian we had and giving him the names of the streets we thought we heard…we knew we were in for an adventure. After spending a 100 som on the Taxi (which is expensive here, but only 3 dollars in the US), we arrived at what we thought was our destination. We walked one block in each direction before coming to the conclusion that we didn’t really know where we were and were probably not going to find Melanie. So we began to walk in hopes of figuring out where we were (and this is what my day often looks like…hoping to go to a destination, only to find myself walking several blocks before I figure out where I really am…the reality of figuring out a new city in Central Asia where I speak very little of the language…it’s good training :o).

We ended up on one of the main roads in the center of town. We grabbed some stuff from one of the stores in town for lunch (Beta is one of the higher end stores and sells a lot of American groceries that you cannot find anywhere else, but often at VERY high prices…Peanut butter for $7 a jar, Philadelphia Cream Cheese for $40 for a large block, boxed cake mixes for $10 a box…needless to say we get our food from the Renock – Bizarre, and eat what the locals eat – lots of bread, rice, beans, cucumber and tomato salads, fresh fruit like cherries, strawberries and apricots are really cheap and in season now - $1 for a kg = 2.2lbs…also lots of dried fruit like Kiwi, mango, and apricots…their raisins and nuts are amazing and super cheap too). After eating their amazing yogurt and drinking Cactus juice (so good!), we headed back to find a Marcuka to take us home.

Marchukas are one of the main means of transportation throughout the city. They are little buses (like a 10 seater van), but hold most of the time up to 35 people! It is crazy! When you get on you pray that the people you are standing with have taken a shower as you are pressed up VERY close to them and that you can have some sense of where to get off because there are no formal “stops” along the way and it is often too crowded to see out a window to figure out where you are and if you have arrived at your destination. And then imagine all of this in 98 degree weather on a Marcuka with no AC and one vent in the ceiling! That is when the prayer that you do not pass out is said. Thankfully we arrived home, ready to take another shower, but home safe none-the-less :o)

The Orphanage

This afternoon we went back to the orphanage and spent time with the kids we met last week. It was more low key, but such a blessing. So many smiling faces and little hands reaching out to be touched and held! Many of the kids were not there today as some of them were being moved to other orphanages or stayed inside because it was so hot.

We found some shade and sang songs and played games with them. While we cannot overtly share the gospel with them, we can tell them things on an individual level and many of them know the Bible songs that Katie sings with them. A lot of them have issues with their clef pallet and are there because their families do not want them because of their deformities. It is sad because most of them are not even being taught how to speak Russian properly and many on the team find themselves correcting their poorly spoken Russian, even though it is their second language….the workers just don’t care to take the time to work with the kids. There is also so much inaccurate myths that the kids are told, like the fact that if they get cold water on them (even though it is in the high 90s), they will get sick…so many did not want any water to get on them as we tried to play with the kids in an effort to keep them cool.

Through it all, we pray that they would see the love of Jesus in us as we play with them, sing with them and give them lots of love that they are so starved for! You can’t help but hug them and kiss their dirty little cheeks…and are often rewarded with lots of giggles and smiles! I don’t want to think about saying goodbye….

6.3.08

Wendy leaves today…*sigh* It has been great to do the first two weeks with her…it will be hard to do the last two without her! It has been a great past couple days as we have crammed in so much in her last few days….crazy food experiments with apple crepes and lava cake, buying dresses as the Renock, sharing pictures and music, taking pictures, watching a movie and just enjoying the time together fellowshipping…it has been so much fun!

Amidst it all, we had a full day on Saturday, with worship practice in the morning, helping the team from Ukraine make Boarch, and then Women’s Bible study and fellowship. I was encouraged as I listened to Renee teach in Russian and was able to identify words and phrases before Tracey had translated it for me! Little by little….
Sadly, Saturday night we had to say goodbye to the team from Ukraine. It is amazing how close you can become despite language barriers and cultural distances….in Jesus it just feels like family…I will miss them!

Sunday was a busy day of church….we leave the house at 7:45am, head to the hall to clean it and set everything up, have worship practice (this morning the electricity was cut off until 9:30…church begins at 10am), and then church and fellowship. I helped out in the nursery during worship and then jumped over to the older kids once the service began. Katie and I had planned a craft the night before and I was thankful I was able to bring some fresh game ideas to play with the kids. I’m often finding myself trying to think back to when my church was fairly small with only one service…when all the ages of kids were in one class together (Mrs. Z’s class :o). It is helpful to draw from those experiences as I find myself helping out in another church plant with similar challenges…only this one is half way around the world :o).

Sunday night and Monday was our time of rest….
I don’t think I realized how important that time of rest can be or how draining a day of serving and pouring into the lives of others can be…without really resting in the Lord what we have to give is often from striving in the flesh and not God’s best. Our time with Him is more important than the “job” we think we have to do for Him…and when we lose sight of that, He is faithful to remind us, sometimes by allowing us to get so run down that our bodies get sick. Last week ended up being that time as almost everyone came down with some type of stomach bug that landed them in bed for 24hours. Thankfully everyone seems to have recovered from it, but we are all a little more cautious in our cleaning and resting.

Frustration....

2008-06-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

Well I am finally sitting here with internet connection and it will not allow me to paste my blog from my word doc into my actual blog! Grrrrrr.....

So, for now, please know that I covet your prayers and support! This has been a time of seeking and searching for the Lord and I have struggled through a lot as I have seen so much hopelessness and need! I love and miss you all and canot wait to see you all soon!

Time is flying by....

2008-05-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

5.25.08

The fun just never stops! This weekend we had a women’s Bible study here at the house. I’m understanding more and more Russian and surprise people all the time when they say something or tell a story and I respond in Russian….one of the Ukrainian girls said after one such incident “Tby panymete (you understand?)?” LOL! It was great….but my response is still “ochen choo choo (very little)” :o) which is very true…I still feel lost most of the time, but God’s grace is so good.

The Ukrainian team and I went over to Jed and Renee’s for dinner after the women’s Bible study. Two of their team members flew out Sunday morning, so we had one last meal with them before we said goodbye. It has been a blessing to work along side of them and to have a connection with them from my time in Ternopil and from the students from their church who were at CCBCE this semester. I love how in Christ you so easily feel like family!

This morning we had church in the hall. I helped out in the nursery…so many kids, which is such a great problem to have. Afterwards we had lunch with Jonathan and Katie, and Jonathan’s sister and Dad who are visiting from the states. After that we headed to the cancer hospital where we shared with several people in the “dying” ward.

In the lower part of this building the church has provided to have it remodeled. When they first started ministering there, there were rats all over the floor because they had made a nest in one of the vents. Here these people are sick with cancer, receiving treatments that lower their immune systems with rats running all over the building. Sadly, the people that we met with today are not told they are dying and most of their “treatment” is not really treatment at all, but instead a means of making them feel as though they are receiving medical care that will help them get well. It is so sad. They kept talking about when they get better and we stood there knowing that in all probability they will not regain their health. Once woman in particular was very open to the gospel and told us that she would like to receive a Bible. We will go back on Tuesday to visit her. As we finished on the ward, the nurses told us that we could not be there and tried to kick us out. Thankfully one nurse wanted to talk to us and we had the opportunity to share with her. She seemed open and willing to listen. Our prayer is that as we go back in we can establish a good relationship with her and have more opportunity.

Being here has really opened my heart and eyes to the ministry of Jesus, to go to the sick and dying, to the elderly, orphan and poor….in these faces I see Jesus, in these hands and hearts I can hear Him ask me if I am willing to serve Him, to love Him, to give everything of myself away for His sake! It is an overwhelming calling. And even with it being so clearly spoken to my heart, I know that I may try to, but in and of myself it is impossible…even in the giving I need Him!

5.28.08

I’m not sure how to summarize the last few days….
As I did my devos this morning I was hit with an intense feeling of being homesick…I miss my family and am looking forward to spending some quality time with them. Only two and a half weeks before I am once again in the states. But even in the looking forward to going home, my prayer today was that the Lord would help me remaine focused on what He has called me to do in the here and now. Satan wants us to get caught up in the past or to strain towards what is in the future, but God says “Today, if you hear my voice…”

It has been difficult and a bit of a struggle being here….more so than I thought. So many opportunities, so much need…and yet I feel so held back by my inability to communicate effectively! To have to rely on others for everything can be so hard….I’m learning humility. I am realizing how intimidated I can be at times, and that in that feeling is a self-centeredness for it often holds me back from doing everything that God places before me to do…I get caught up in being so far from my comfort zone. It is a good stretching and a time of learning. Before I came, I asked God to not let me be complacent, to not let me rely on my previous experiences in short term trips and outreaches, but to make this a time of growth. I sometimes forget what I ask for and then complain when I get it! But God is so faithful to bring me what I need in those times….to remind me of who He is and to whom I belong. “I know, O Lord, that your decisions are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it. Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised your servant. Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your law is my delight.” (Psalm 119:75-77).

In all of this God is teaching me to ask for boldness, and to step outside of my comfort zone and give everything I have. It has had me seeking to understand what are the gifts that He has given me to use on the field…what are the things that He has put in my heart that are undeniable. One thing I have realized is how much my heart hurts as I interact with people who are unloved and deemed unacceptable by society’s standards.

As we walked though the city last night after English club, one of my friends from the Ukrainian team, Tanya and I had noticed two homeless ladies sitting on the side of the road. They were filthy, surrounded by their bags of empty plastic bottles and looked as though they had been using alcohol as a means of trying to escape their reality. I noticed them, but didn’t heed the tug on my heart to talk to them (once again not stepping out in boldness), but Tanya did. As we walked to the corner, she turned to me and said “Do you want to go talk to those women?” I love her and her sensitivity to the Spirit. We went back and tried to talk to them, but the one woman became very irate and kept yelling at us to leave them alone. We tired some more, but she became so upset that we walked away. As we were walking away a man approached us to ask where we were from and as he was talking to us, the irate woman got up and left, leaving the other women there starring at us. We went back to her. She was so precious, probably in her late 60’s early 70’s and seemed starved for love and attention. We started talking to her, but all she could do was look at us with these wide pleading eyes and toothless grin. My heart broke. We began to pray for her, and slowly her arms came around us…she just wanted to be loved. As we finished praying, there were tears in her eyes and tears streaming from mine. We couldn’t help but hug her and kiss her, knowing that it has probably been a while since anyone ever paid her positive attention. She wasn’t able to communicate with us well, but we gave her a tract and told her how much Jesus loves her (one phrase that I can speak in Russian with clarity :o). Please pray that God would work in her heart and that He would meet with her in a special way.

“He will rescue the poor when they cry out to Him; He will help the oppressed who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the weak and the needy and He will rescue them….for their lives are precious to Him.”
Psalm 72:12-14

5.29.08

God is so good to give me His peace and His strength! My heart is more at peace today as He has been speaking to me and giving me His overflowing grace! Thank you for your prayers! He is my faithful shephard who desires to take care of me and protect me (that was for Mr. Gabe :o).

Here!

2008-05-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

5.19.08

Since my access to internet will not be consistent, I’ll try to keep an updated journal on my laptop and will post it to my blog when I can :o).

Well, my long anticipated 30 day outreach has begun. I’m not even sure if I believe that it is actually happening yet. Who would have imagined that God would orchestrate things as such and send me to Kyrgyzstan to be a part of His work here?!? I feel so blessed that He would speak to me in such a special and undeniable way, and then amaze me with His provision. He is so good and so faithful and I stand in awe of Him!

The trip has been interesting….lol. Wendy and I slept in the Budapest airport last night (with another student who was leaving the same morning to go back to the states). Other than being extremely cold and uncomfortable, it was laughable to wake up and find Wendy huddled in a blanket, a jacket, a hat, sprawled on top of her luggage…we looked homeless, haha. I knew it was bad when I was looking forward to sleeping on the plane!

We had a seven hour layover in Istanbul, Turkey, where we were so thankful to find that beautiful green sign that promised us a taste of home: STARBUCKS! We sat there for most of our layover :o).

Flying into Kyrgyzstan, was, for the most part uneventful, arriving at the airport at 4:30 in the morning. The US airbase is also stationed at the airport, so flying in a seeing our military planes on the tarmac was comforting in a way. In flying into Afghanistan, most military will travel through Kyrgyzstan, with it only being a country away. It was a reminder that the fight for freedom still continues and reignited my pride in my country and the men and women who serve to protect our freedoms and to give freedom to those who have never experienced it before. And just as they enter the battle field ready to fight for that cause, so I too was being called to enter a battlefield to fight for freedom, but this one for the hearts and souls of men and women who are enslaved in the bondage of sin and darkness. The hold on their hearts is just as valuable as their physical wellbeing, and I feel so blessed to come and help fight in that battle. I don’t ever want to take that lightly or ignore the reality of spiritual warfare that we will encounter as we fight in this battle.
“For we fight not against flesh and blood....”

5.20.08

I don’t think I have slept so much in my life! We arrived at 4:30 in the morning, an hour later arrived at Paul and Melanie’s house and went straight to bed. Around 2:30 we got up, and my biggest concern was that I was not going to be able to get over my jetlag due to how much I had just slept during the day….but that evening proved me wrong as I slept like a rock straight through the night…lol! Apparently the trip was more exhausting than I had realized.

It was a fairly relaxing day. We talked with Paul and Melanie, played with their little boys (Titus-2, Timothy-18 months, and Nehimehia-4 months), had dinner with a Kyrgyz couple from the church and had the opportunity to meet three of the girls from the outreach team that is hear from Ukraine. It was interesting to make the connection between different people that we all knew, either from the Bible College or from my ten day outreach to Ternopil, Ukraine…such a small world!

In talking to Paul and Melanie, it was interesting to find out more of the culture of the Kyrgyz people. Having been a part of the former Soviet Union, most people speak Russian, however with their close proximity to different Asian countries, the Kyrgyz people tend to look very oriental. And while 85 percent of the country is Muslim, they are also a very nomadic people, and because of this, when the Muslims came in, in an effort to convert them to the religion of Islam, there was never a strong rooting of the conservative Muslim traditions that occurred because they were constantly moving and changing locations. Today this translates into a culture that holds their Islamic beliefs very loosely. There are def those who are conservative in their faith and ascribe to their religion with tenacity and fervor, but for the most part, the Kyrgyz people are nominal Muslims. One of the biggest fears they face is the kidnapping of girls to become brides. There is no law against such practice, and for this reason we cannot go out on the streets by ourselves past dusk, because the threat is as real for us as for the Kyrgyz women.

The blessing, though, is that many have been coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but due to their nominal belief in Islam, they can sometimes have the same attitude towards their Christianity. Two of the women who have just become believers in the last several months are such an encouragement to me. They are so excited about the things of the Lord and desire to serve Him in whatever capacity they can. May my heart continue to reflect that same love and adoration for the One whose love for me is without compare.

5.22.08

This morning we (the team from Ukraine, Jed, Paul, Michelle, two of the girls from the church here and myself) left bright and early to head into the mountains to the region of Talas. There is a family there who are believers from the states who are “working” in a village there and after not making much headway in a year asked Paul and Jed if they could bring a team in to do some ground breaking and seed scattering. Even though I was still a bit jet-lagged, I was so excited to see more of the country and to be a part of an outreach in a new area. The team from Bishkek has been praying about a possible church plant in that region, and this was a great opportunity to see the land and pray over the city.

The trip through the mountains took five hours, and although an extremely bumpy ride :o), it was breathtakingly beautiful! I have never seen mountains like that before, or been driving on a road at 180 kph through herds of sheep, cattle and horses! It was an experience I will not soon forget! Along the way we stopped at one of the groups of nomad homes and had sour horse milk….um, I think my picture will say it all…haha!

Once we arrived in Talas, we met with the family, their friend Nancy (who is from Glenside, PA…small world), and another believer, Lily, who has become a Kyrgyz grandmother to them…so sweet. After praying, we set out to talk to people on the streets and invite them to come over for dinner the next night to get to know us and the family there in the village. We spoke with a few people in the village, even encountered a group of Muslim men who wanted to debate about the trinity. Thankfully we left them on good terms, even though the discussion seemed to get a little heated.

After eating dinner back at the house, myself and six other people from the team headed to Lily’s house to spend the night. With no running water, using an outhouse and a pump for our water was an adventure....but Lily made up for it all with her desire to love on us and be our Kyrgyz grandmother while we were there. Her only request was that we remember her as we pray and to pray for the other believers that are in Talas, and to not forget them!

To see more pictures of my time in Talas:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125367&l=de67b&id=551790426

Dove awards and Graduation

2008-05-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone....

Over the last week it has been a flurry of activity as we have concluded classes and prepared to say goodbye. Amidst it all we have still been able to have fun and enjoy the last few moments together. Here are some pictures of the Calvary Dove awards and Graduation....enjoy!

His Faithfulness and my doubting heart

2008-05-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

5.17.08

Well this is a bittersweet blog to write….

I can remember writing my first blog from this room in the castle, facing the unknown and anticipation of all that was going to happen in the following few months. It was a difficult thing to write, realizing all that I had left behind in the states, everyone I had said goodbye to, and flying halfway around the world to live with 100 other students who desired the things of the Lord more than the things of this world. In reality I had not a clue of all that God was going to do in and through me…I was totally unprepared! And I can honestly say that I would not have survived it had you not been on your knees for me.

As God has done heart surgery on me, dealt with the sin and weights that had so easily ensnared me, spoken words of comfort to me, used me in His ministry here in Europe and given me clear direction for the call He has placed on my life for the future, you have been faithfully standing by me, lifting me to His throne and walking this road with me…and for that I am truly thankful. You have blessed my heart by helping to lift my hands in the midst of the battle and encouraging me to press on toward the goal for the high calling of Jesus Christ!

And while I have been here, God has so lovingly given me a family that has grown very close to my heart….brothers and sisters who have been knit into the tapestry of my life and will be very hard to leave behind…yes, the hardest part of all of this is saying goodbye!

It has been an exhausting week of packing up and moving on…so many tears shed, goodbyes said and a heart that is been close to breaking many times! We have adopted the “see you later” stance, but in reality we know that for many of us, this is the last time we will see each other this side of eternity as we move home and into the fields of foreign countries.

In the midst of this all, though, I would be neglectful to not allow my heart to stir within me for the anticipation of the next step – my 30 day outreach to Kyrgyzstan! God is so faithful and the path has been paved for me to walk on….

As of a week ago I had no support for this outreach and had begun to settle in my heart the seeming reality that I was going to have to look at options of where to go before I was able to use my ticket for my flight home on June 16th (I didn’t even have enough in the bank to pay for my ticket to be changed to an earlier flight). I had been walking through the last two weeks waiting for the Lord to move, glancing occasionally at my bank account, but really trusting that the Lord would bring the money that was needed, for it was very obvious that He had set this outreach in motion. I really hadn’t stressed too much, but was quick to remind God that He was going to have to do it, because in my own striving I had nothing! It was Him or nothing!

On Friday, I had had a frustrating day of having more issues with my bank and my ATM card and had found out that there wasn’t really anything for me to do for the four weeks here at the castle before my flight home. The doubt hit me like a tidal wave! I went outside and wept tears of frustration and confusion. I began doubting everything I thought He has spoken to my heart about, every confirmation I thought I had received from Him. My prayer was that of a child grabbing her daddy’s leg and sobbing into it because she felt lost and confused. Where was He and why wasn’t He paying attention to what was going on?

Of course it is often when we come to the end of ourselves that we get out of the way and give God the room to actually work in the midst of the circumstances and blow us away with His provision. That evening, 15 min before curfew, I received an email from my sister telling me that the entire trip was covered! I went from nothing to everything, all within 5 hours! With the joy came shame, shame at my continual doubting heart and lack of trusting ALL that He had so clearly told me. “Lord, I believe, but please help my unbelief…”

And so the details have been worked out, the plane ticket bought, and my bags packed! I am ready (or think I am) for all that He has in store for these next four weeks! I cannot wait to see what He teaches me and how He uses the meager loaves and fishes that I bring to Him. I am His and only want to be used for His glory! I have been bought and am no longer my own!

My flight is on Monday at 10 am. We have a connection in Turkey and then will be heading directly into Kyrgyzstan! Please pray for safety as we travel, no issues entering or leaving the country, that I would have an open and flexible attitude, for the missionaries I will be working alongside and their families, and that God would use this time to reach hearts for Him. I will do my best to keep everyone updated with prayer requests and would covet your prayers for this outreach.

You are in my heart and prayers! I love you all!

In His grace ><>
Patricia

“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him..” Psalm 37:3-7

My child, you are Mine!

2008-04-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

When you entered this world, I smiled!
From the first day I knew you were Mine.

When you walked away from my love,
When you chose to let anger rule your heart,
I winced, but you were still Mine.

When you opened up your heart,
Lowered your pride and accepted my love,
My heart soared because you were all Mine.

I watched you grow,
I watched you fall.
I watched you from a distance you chose,
I watched you when your hand was in Mine.

I smiled when you crawled in my lap,
I caught your tears when you came home.

I have soothed the ache,
Healed the wounds,
Carried you in My arms,
Whispered words of love and forgivness in your ear.

I love you like no one else can,
I demand more than anyone else will.
My gifts to you are far greater than anything measured on this earth.

Come, walk with me,
Let me hold your hand,
And show you the greatness of My glory,
For you are Mine!

A Call To Return

2008-04-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

As I have been studying through the book of Hebrews, I am seeing that all throughout scripture we can see the faithful, merciful hand of God extending to sinful man, warning them of their mistakes and giving them the opportunity to come back to the Lord. Laced all through the book of Hebrews, the writer of Hebrews, continually warns the Jewish Believers of the early church to take note of their actions and how they can and have led to a life that is far from God. Due to the persecution they were receiving from the Roman government (who was threatening their physical well being) and the pressure they were experiencing from their Jewish family and friends (shunning them because of their belief in Jesus as Messiah), these Messianic Christians were wavering in their faith and falling back into the traditions of men. This was causing them to drift from their faith in Jesus Christ. In drifting they were not receiving the rest that comes from fully trusting in God, which then in turn led them to a life of laziness. This laziness turned into willful sin, which then became flagrant disobedience and rebellion against God.

While these warnings were written to the early church, they are as much for the Believer today as they were decades before. God’s mercy is clearly seen in His desire to draw the wandering hearts of His children back close to His heart that they may do His will, walk in His way and bring glory to His name. “I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them” (Hosea 11:4)

These warnings are given that we may inspect our hearts and ask God to shine light on those areas that are not submitted to Him. Through looking at theses warnings, the Lord revealed to me where my heart had been over the past two years. I could clearly look back and see how I had first drifted from the fervor I had once had in Christ. That led me to a heart of unbelief and doubt, which cause me not to recognize or rest in His promises. From this unrest I became lazy in my walk with the Lord, choosing not to listen and obey to the things of the Lord. As I slacked in my Christian walk, my heart became open to sinning with no thought or conviction, with an apathetic attitude and spirit. Eventually, my life began to display outright disobedience to the things of the Lord, and now I can see that I had been walking in rebellion to Him, and sadly, causing others to stumble as well. I feel so blessed, though, that He has opened my eyes to allow me to see the truth; that, in His loving kindness, He has called me to return to Him and once again be restored as His child in right standing before Him. He is my loving Father who is concerned with my relationship to Him and desires my heart to be His. He is my jealous God who has “drawn [me] into the wilderness to speak tenderly to [me]” (Hosea 2:14).

Chicken Pox at the Castle

2008-04-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

Please pray! An outbreak of chicken pox has begun at the castle. Looks like the outreach team from Englund has brought it back with them....my poor friend Travis is COVERED with them! The team from Romania brought back lice....wonder what is next....

*including a picture of Travis.....without chicken pox... :o)

God said "Go!"

2008-04-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

Dear friends and prayer team,
First, I cannot begin to express all that God has been doing in my heart and life while I have been here at CCBCE! Our God is so faithful to teach us and mold us closer to His image, even when it means painful, difficult lessons. This has truly been a time where He has brought me out to the wilderness to speak tenderly to me as His daughter and show me direction for my life. I have no doubt that He is calling me to labor in His fields, for they truly are white for the harvest! I say this with fear and excitement: fear in the unknown and excitement to see what He will do as I obey Him.

As you may have known/heard, it had been on my heart to go to Israel and serve along side of the Calvary Chapel there in Tel Aviv for my 30 day outreach that is part of my mission training program. And while I had been seeking out the contacts there and working through the details of my stay there, God had been bringing up the country of Kyrgyzstan to my mind. All throughout my 10 day outreach to Ukraine, I continually was hearing about Kyrgyzstan, even ministering to missionaries from Kyrgyzstan who were getting more Biblical training at a Mission School in Ternopil Ukraine! But I still in my heart was striving after going to Israel. When I returned back to the school here in Hungary, I could not get Kyrgyzstan off my mind and heart, and yet I continued to push the thought aside. On Monday night, our missions director here at the school, Lisa Collins, came to me and told me that she and one of the pastor's here, Phil Metzger (Pastor of Calvary Chapel Budapest), had specifically been praying that the Lord would raise up someone to go to Kyrgyzstan to be a part of the team there and my name came to their mind. In addition, one of the pastor's from Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan has also been praying! His sister is studying here this semester and I come to find out that she has been praying all semester that God would speak to my heart about going there for my 30 day! Sitting there with Lisa, I clearly heard the Lord say "This is the way, walk in it"! I have NEVER experienced something like that before! In addition to it being a predominately Muslim country, the language that most speak is RUSSIAN....which I have been continuing to study while I have been here! I am overwhelmed....I cannot help but think back to that Sunday evening after worship when I went to Pastor Chris with a heavy heart and tears, knowing that God had said "go" but having no clue where He wanted me to go! I am so blessed but His faithfulness to direct and lead my steps for His glory!

With the decision being made, I now have a little over three weeks to get everything in motion to leave for Kyrgyzstan. And while it is easy to become anxious, I think of the Word God gave my pastor as he prayed for my healing the week before I left for Hungary, "man's deadlines are not God's deadlines!" I have full confidence that He will make the way and provide the finances! He who called me is faithful! "His past faithfulness, demands my present trust." (Spurgeon)I want to ask you to please lift me up in prayer as I walk through this door. It can be intimidating, but I feel that all God has used in the past several years of ministry and training at my church, and all he has taught me while being here, He will now continue to use as I head out on the field. As I seek Him, please prayer that God will sustain me through the attacks from the enemy, that He will keep me in perfect health and peace, and that I will rely solely on Him to provide what is necessary for this trip ($1,500 for airfare and living expenses while I am there). Also, please prayer for the team of nine serving in Bishkek, for their families and ministry there. Pray that God would give them strength as He continues to open up the doors for ministry. In addition, lift up the hearts of the Kyrgyz people. Ask that God would be softening their hearts and drawing them to Himself.

I am so thankful for all of you and your dedication to pray for me and labor along side of me! I have been blessed and overwhelmed by your outpouring of love. I will continue to keep you updated about all that God is doing.

In His grace ><>Patricia

*If you feel led to support me financially, checks can be made out in my name and sent to my home address:1 Cleveland Ave., Narberth, PA 19072

Back from Outreach!

2008-04-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

4.23.08

Hey everyone, it’s been a while, and I am so sorry for my lack of updates! I got home from outreach in Ternopil, Ukraine and hit the ground running with all the things that were due for my classes: 2 research papers, 1 book report, my post outreach paper, and the Sunday school curriculum that is required for my James class. But God remains so faithful to give the strength to finish well for His glory! He is so good.

Ukraine was such a wonderful experience. It really was a time of God teaching me of what it really looks like to be on the field full time, with all of the little details of daily living as well as the ministry aspect of things. When we arrived, Marilyn Gibbs, a women who has been serving on the mission field for 15 years in five different countries, told us that she wanted us to really experience what it was like to live on the mission field, and so we needed to figure out how the transportation in the city worked, getting food for the week, and finding our way around the city by ourselves, without really using a translator! It was amazing, sometimes difficult, but such a great experience.

In addition to the practical aspect of mission life, we had the great opportunity of speaking to students at the International Economics University (two different classes), teaching English at the High School (six classes in all), help out at English club where we were allowed to share our faith, hang out with the students we had formed relationships with during the week, street evangelize, and work along side the university students who are from Africa who are believers (speak to students in the dorms, visit a family of children who had lost both their parents, and speak at the African Bible study). Spending time with the students from Kenya, Ghana, Ethiopia, Tanzania, and Zimbabwe was such an amazing experience. They have such a love for their Ukrainian classmates and a desire to share Christ with them. Worshiping with them was unlike anything I have EVER experienced! I knew, as we sang and all prayed simultaneously, that we were in the presence of God! I was afraid to open my eyes that I would see the angles surrounding us! What a blessing to meet these brothers and sisters this side of heaven. I look forward to worshipping with them again, if not in this life, then around the throne of God when we are face to face with our Savior!

We also had the amazing opportunity of speaking with students who are studying at a mission school right outside of Ternopile. They are from Muslim countries that are closed to the gospel, yet they are getting more Biblical training to go back into their countries to share the gospel, fully aware of the risk to their lives and the lives of their familes. One pastor, his wife just had a baby two months ago, and it will be two more months before he will be able to meet his new little one. His congragation of 200 has been quickly dwindling as the police have come in on various occasions and brought many of the believers into custody, his flock is now down to 70 and the church has been locked up, leaving those attending to disburse and find homes to meet in secretly. Another women is going back to her country at the end of her schooling, knowing that in the region she is from, any women who turns away from the Mulim faith will be abducted and raped by the authorities. One man who came out of Islam and into a relationship with Jesus, his wife divorced him and took his two daughters who he has not seen or been allowed to have contact with them for three years! These are true heros of the faith - and I was so blessed to meet them, to personally hear their stories and lift them before the throne of Christ in prayer!
You can read more about what we did and see some of the pictures from our trip by visiting our outreach blog: http://www.teamukraineccbcce.blogspot.com/

Thank you so much for your faithful prayers as we headed out on the field to support the ministry there. Many doors were opened that will allow the missionaries there to go back into the schools on a regular basis and share with the students and build personal relationships with them outside the classroom, where they will be free to share about Jesus Christ and His gift of salvation. “It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. For we are both God’s workers.” – 1 Corinthians 3:7-9

Budapest Outreach

2008-04-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

Last weekend a team of 9 students from CCBCE headed into Budapest to work with another homeless ministry there that is in conjunction with Calvary Chapel Budapest. We had originally planned on leaving Friday afternoon so that we could work with the youth group there that evening, however God changed our plans. We had decided to prepare some dramas to share on the streets during our day of outreach, and had been practicing on Thursday eveing when our missions director, Lisa, came in and asked if we would be around to help out with the kids outreach in Vajta on Friday. There had been a team from Florida that was suppose to be coming in to do that outreach, however Delta nad American Airlines grounded hundreds of flights due to a mechanical recall, eliminating their flight and leaving us with a hightly promoted outreach with no one to run it! God is so faithful. Because the youth ministry had been cancelled for our team going to Budapest on Friday night, we were able to head into the villiage and work with the kids there! I love watching Him work!

When we got back Friday night, a few of us felt like God wanted us to see about preparing a different drama to share in budapest the next day. So, at 8pm Friday night we began to work onthe drama "Doors" - so powerful! We practiced for an hour and God gave us so much grace.
As we headed to bed that night, one of the girls from the drama felt really sick and didn't think she was going to be able to join our team. Since she had the music, I quickly tried to download the music, which game me so many problems! At 5:15 the next monring, 15 min before we were ready to leave for the train, I finally got it downloaded and we headed off.

After getting to the shelter and grabbing some food, we prepared lunches to hand out on the streets and heading into the metro areas to talk with some of the homeless. We split up into pairs with a translator. While the streets had been filled with homeless the day before, that day the police had been pertolling in an effort to keep the homeless from congregating in public places. Still, God gave us some amazing long conversations with several homeless people who seems to be starving for conversation and love. One Hungarian grandmother was selling little trinkets, and when we met her she told us that she loved Jesus - and you could see it all over her face. We encouraged her and then I just felt so compelled to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and we kissed each others cheeks...it was such a blessing! Another man my friend Adriel and I met, seems to know the truth, but is in the place of discouragment by his circumstances, and feeling the need to steal to provide what he is lacking. We encouraged Him to trust the Lord, to continue to seek Him, and to place His hope in the life that is to come. We prayed with Him, but felt the weight of the reality that these men and women live with every day. It was hard.

When we returned to the shelter, we had lunch and then prepared for the evening dinner that many homeless come for at the shelter. Those of us inthe drama decided to practice one more time. Interestingly enough, my Zune, which had FULL battery when I left the college had NONE when i turned it on! So we prayed! Prayed for God to show us, to allow us to be flexable, to use us to glorify His name. When we finished praying, Abby felt like we should listen to another song by Under Oath that really meant a lot to her. We listened to that song and it fit 10 times better than the original song. We practiced it once and the cues were all there...it was beautiful. When we preformed it, God moved and it brought tears to the eye of grown men there! Abby shared her testimony and then we just had a time of sharing. One 71 year old man said that it "felt like home" there that night! How amazing is our God that He allowed us to be a part of that. That He used US to be the extensions of His love to these people!

The next day the Lord gave me Psalm 72 in my quiet time:
"He will rescue the poor when they cry to Him; He will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and will rescue them. He will save them from oppression and from violence, for their lives are precious to them."

Easter in the Middle East

2008-03-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

"Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you...I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me."
- Acts 26:16-18

Wow! What an amazing opportunity to spend Easter in the Middle East with my friends who are working on the field there! God trully blessed! After taking the train to the metro to the metro to the bus to the plane to the taxi to the boat and then walking to their apt, I was so thankful that God had allowed me to be there. It was a sweet time of fellowship and encouragement as I spent time learning about their work there and as I look towards the future of possibly being on the field in the Middle East full time. The Lord allowed me to feel the sense of darkness and oppression as we walked throughout the cities, listened to the call to prayer, and visited one of the mosks there. These people are being held in bondage by the stronghold of the great deceiver and their perspective of foreigners, especially Americans, often presents a very difficult challenge as they quickly judge our motives and character in light of our origin. It requires a heart that is willing to have an attitude of patience, humility, and longevity as we pray that God will reveal His Son to these precious people through the consistent, faithful testimony of a life living in His glory. Please continue to lift up this region to our loving Father. Ask that God would flood the field with His workers and bring hope to this place of oppression and fear. While there, the most signifigant thing that happened was the peace that God gave me that He really is drwing my heart to live in the Middle East and serve Him there. It's a knowing that I have been having, but this was the first time that I really felt my heart stirred with a true realization that this is where I am being called. When, for how long and in what capacity I am unsure of...but I know that He will reveal that to me in His timing. And I am so at peace with that!

I also covet your prayers as I look ahead to my 10 day outreach to Ternopil, Ukraine in April. We will be working alongside the Calvary Chapel there, as well as YWAM, to reach out to the college students in the community and the orphanages. Please pray for unity among the six members of our team and the 19 hours of travel into Ukraine and then returning to Hungary.

You can check out our team blog at: http://www.teamukraineccbce.blogspot.com/

Love you all so much!

Answered Prayer

2008-03-18T11:07:00.001-07:00

Thank you so much for praying! I know that it has been a while since I have blogged, however I have felt the amazing power of your prayers. On Friday night I was in so much pain as the cyst seems to have returned! I was close to taking the medication that I have brough with me. The next morning my roomates gathered around me and laid hands on me, praying for divine intervention as the pain had now wrapped all the way around my back. I talked to the nurse here who graciously told me that if it persisted she would take me to her doctor on Tuesday when she had an appointment (God was already making a way). We continued to pray and when I woke up Sunday morning, the pain was gone! I was very relieved that I didn't have to go to the hospital here and watched God once again heal my body.

In addition to that, I have been sturggling with getting the details of my trip to Israel this summer worked out. The pastor there has been sick and they have been consumed with him getting better and the ministry in Tel Aviv. Finally, though, on Monday, after listening to the Lord speak to me all last week about surrendering my heart and obeying His leading, I headed into the fields of flowers to just spent time with Him, mainly to surrender my will and be completly willing to follow His leading, despite my desire to go to a specific place (I've now had two other possibilities of going to other countries in the middle east).

Before I went to bed that night, I recieved an email from one of the women working with the ministry in Israel telling me that they would love for me to come and spend my month of outreach with them! I still have many details to work out, but it seems that God has given the green light! I am so excited and would covet your continual prayers as I move ahead. You are all such a blessing to my heart and I am so thankful for you all - Philippians 1:3-6!

Speakers Week

2008-03-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

3.11.08

“Therefore, behold I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her.” – Hosea 2:14

“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love and mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.” – Hosea 2:19-20

“For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice….” – Hosea 6:6

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God.” – Hosea 12:6

These past two weeks have been a time of seeking the Lord and returning to Him as His sons and daughters, renewed, reclaimed, and wearing the robe of His sonship! Two weeks ago on Tuesday, Pastor Phil Metzger gave a devotional on prayer, pointing out the desire of the Father that we speak to Him constantly and persistently. We are His children and He wants to hear from Him. On Thursday we held a school wide fast. During this time we gathered together during meal times and worshiped and prayed for each other and with each other. We spent time poured out before the throne of Christ and waited for God to speak and move among His children.

It was during this time that God put it on my heart to read the book of Hosea...I've fallen in love with that book...mainly because I often feel like the adulterous wife...the one who leaves the unconditional love and provision of her husband and seeks after the love of the another that leaves her feeling empty, dirty, and without worth. I think I underlined half the book....but several key verses that stuck out as what the Lord was trying to make me understand as my loving husband were Hosea 2:14, 2:19-20, and 12:6. I don't think I realized all the scares that my heart has been left with due to many things that I have experienced over the years....things done to me and things I have done to myself. He truly has brought me out to the wilderness to speak tenderly to me (Hosea 2:14).

And it is interesting because during this past week of Speakers Week, the prodigal son has been taught on a lot. (unexpectedly by different pastors from around Europe that did not confer with one another)...looking at the son's heart and the heart of the Father towards him. Even in just taking a closer look at the gifts that He bestows on His son after he returns from his rebellion has drawn me closer to God and my understanding of what He thinks about me. In the confessing of our sin we are restored and returned to Him, but just as the Father would not allow the son to ask to return as a servant, neither will God require that we serve time as a slave.

In his loving kindness He places His robe of acceptance around us, puts the ring of authority on our finger and puts the shoes of confidence to do His good work on our feet. And when we are consumed with looking under the robe at our past sins that is when we are the most ineffective. Satan loves to speak words of doubt and condemnation to us, and I realized that I have been consumed with looking in the past at all that I have done that has been in rebellion to God's perfect plan for my life. Not necessarily starting out as a desire to rebel, but rather just a comfortable drifting that leads to unrest and apathy, ultimately being inoculated with the sins of the flesh (the warnings in Hebrews).

I can know in my head that I am forgiven by God, that He has washed me clean and remembers no more the sins that I have committed, but it is really hard sometimes for me to forgive myself and walk in the confidence that I am His child and He has made me worthy to be His daughter. I think that is the main thing that God has been speaking to my heart this week....telling me to move on and not get caught up in the trap of Satan in an effort to make me ineffective. Like anything else, it is going to take practice to move on, to not listen to the condemnation, but instead to remember the authority that I have in my loving Father. He has called me to do good works for His glory, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that.

Christmas in March!!!

2008-03-07T14:30:00.002-08:00

It was like Christmas today!! I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.... :o)

Budapest

2008-03-05T00:59:00.000-08:00

3.3.08

Oh my word! I don’t even know where to begin….seriously! It was a crazy weekend in Budapest. Our word for the weekend quickly became “overwhelmed!”

Ok, so Thursday the Lord was really working on my heart about how I hold onto stuff…material things, clinging to this mentality that I may one day be in need or want…really, in essence, once again not fully trusting God or being totally dependant on Him (seems to be a common theme this semester…lol!). In my missions class in the morning we were discussing financial needs, and how those who are always in abundance often end up missing out on the blessing of relying on God to provide for their needs and watching Him work out amazing miracles. Later on, as I was reading God’s Smuggler (Brother Andrew’s story) I was really impressed by his dependence on God to supply his needs and the amazing stories of His faithfulness, to really learn to live in the “Royal Way,” as Brother Andrew calls it. Finally that evening during chapel, my heart was heavy with the realization that God was calling me to let go and to give back to Him…to trust for His provision as I walk in obedience. When I left chapel that night, still struggling within my self in regards to letting go, I called my sister…her advice? “Make it fast and painful!” LOL Thanks Sarah! So that’s what I did….

I had so much peace once I did it…so much joy in knowing that God spoke to me, I listened, and then He gave me the strength to obey….sounds simple, but it was a harder task than I thought!

The next day, my friend Jenna and I headed into Budapest (two hour train ride from Vajta) to work with missionaries from Campus Crusade who have a homeless ministry. They are a Korean couple who have been serving in Hungary for 20 years! It is a crazy thing to see two Koreans speaking fluent Hungarian! They are amazing people. Truly with hearts desiring nothing but to be about their Father’s business!

When we arrived at the train station, we jumped right into the ministry and began helping to pass out the meals of rice, Hungarian soup and bread. There were about 40 people waiting in line before they even had the food out of the van. It was frustrating to not be able to talk to these men and women, yet knowing that they had so many stories they could share. To look into their faces and see the exhaustion, the lack of hope and defeatedness, and to realize that many have seen far more than I will ever see in my lifetime (the effects of communism was still evident). It was a difficult thing to jump into….definitely one I was unprepared for.
What blew me away more was the unbelievable love these missionaries had for these people. Kati hugged every one of the women, kissing their cheeks in a greeting and showing them the same love and respect she would give someone of royalty! It was an overwhelming emotion to watch her love on these people….and realize the lack of love I often have!

After we fed them, the pastor took the mic and began to preach from the word. To be honest, I had a hard time concentrating, as all I was consumed with was watching the people’s faces and the joy on Kati and her husband’s face. What also made this time so special was that the pastor’s parents from Korean were visiting and had just flown in the day before. They too, although only speaking Korean, couldn’t stop loving on these people and singing the hymns and worship songs to Jesus with such amazing love and devotion to their Savior.

After packing up and heading back to the missionaries’ house, Kati and her mother-in-law prepared an amazing Korean meal that we shared together as we listened to their story of how God called them to serve in Hungary right after the fall of communism in the country. They are truly a testimony of God providing for their every need as they both came from backgrounds of working in the professional world with prestige and honor, and gave everything up to move to a country, not knowing any of the language, and commit their whole lives to serving the Lord and following His will.

And the amazing part of all of this, is that while we came to bless them, they wanted nothing more than to bless us. Kati took us on a tour all over Budapest at night which was simply breathtaking. The next day they took us to the indoor hot springs and when she found out that we were in need of t-shirts for the unexpectedly hot weather in Vajta, she called up a friend who is constantly trying to give her new clothing and asked if she would be willing to bless us! God is so faithful to provide for His children. He loves us and wants only to give us God gifts. The words of the man will his demon possessed daughter became the cry of my heart….“Lord I believe, but help me in my unbelief!”

What truly brought me to tears was the morning devotions that we had Saturday morning at 6:30am. We sang several hymns (they sang in Korean, I sang in English) and we read from Acts when Paul was called to go to Macedonia in chapter 16. The Pastor shared his calling to be in Hungary and how God had asked him to lay everything aside for that call. Afterwards, we had a time of prayer, where everyone was praying independently yet aloud. At one point, the pastor stopped and directed everyone to pray for Jenna and I, to thank God for our hearts to serve Him and to guide us as we head into the mission field. I was so overwhelmed to listen to these prayers being lifted up in Korean…to understand nothing of what they were saying except to hear my name bring raised to the Lord! I just started to weep….who am I? I felt so undeserving of their blessing and prayers. It was a time that I have sought to etch into my memory…one of those special moments when you know you are litterly in the presence of God, before His throne, and that you are his most beloved child!

The last day that I was there, Sunday, we worked in the morning to make the food and then headed back to the train station to have another service with the people who are living there under the stairways and on the benches. The pastor and his wife, his parents, Peter, Joelee, Truble, and an older couple who are celebrating their 50th anniversary, all come together to worship the Lord with these people and share the truth of His word. Once again the love poured from them and the people gathered around with smiles and looks of expectancy and being loved on their faces was an overwhelming picture. These men and women know the love of Christ through the love that is tangibly being given by these missionaries. Every touch, every hug, every kind word and praise is as if it was straight from God given to penetrate their hearts with a hope that never fails!

At the close of the service, unexpectedly, they asked for the people to pray for Jenna and myself! I was so humbled…here these people, without a home, without material things, without security of a job, were lifting us up and thanking us for our hearts to serve the Lord. It is an experience I will never quite fully process or ever forget.

Afterwards we once again helped to pass out the food and were met with such smiles and words of appreciation. As I boarded my train to return “home,” I couldn’t help but sense that I had seen God in the faces of those people. When I got back to the Bible college so many people remarked at my look of joy and complete peace! I think I understand better now what it means to be in His presence and to radiate His glory after seeing His face.

My Address

2008-02-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

I know several people have asked about my addy..so here it is :o)

CCBCE

PATRICA SCANLON

PETOFI SANDOR UT 562

7042 VAJTA, HUNGARY

Prayer Requests

2008-02-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Thank you guys so much for your faithful prayers. I know that I don't get the chance to wrtie to you all personally to thank you for your faithfulness, but I want you to know how much I appriciate it!

To add to the list of things to pray for:
This evening one of the prostitutes that my friends Betty, Lori and I have been praying for came to chapel at the Bible College. She is struggeling with the death of her two daughters (5 and 7 years old) that occured 5 years ago. As a gypsy, she feels that that only way for her to survive is through her prostitution, even though she is in her early 40s. She broke down in tears this evening, saying that she was overwhelmed by the worship and the feeling of "goodness" that she had in that place. Pray that God would continue to provide opportunites to minister to her (she often walks the street right in front of the Bible college). Also, there a couple girls around the age of 19 who are also prostitutes inthe area. Please ask that if it is God's will, that He would allow for us to meet with them and establish a realationship.

Please also lift up this weekend. Myself and another women from the college are heading into Budapest this weekend to work with a homeless ministry there. Pray for provision in the travel (it is a two hour train ride there) and that God would bless the time spent working with and encouraging the missionaries there.

Also, it seems that God is opening the door to for me to head into the Middle East at the end of march, over the Easter weekend. A dear friend of mine is there and is getting read to have a baby. God has put it on my heart to go and encourage and bless her and to see the opportunites that they have been given in that country. Please ask that if it is truly where God would have me go, that He would make the path very clear and provide what is nessisary for the trip.

Lastly, I cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers and support. God has been teaching me so much while I have been here and has grown me beyond my expectation (sometimes learning difficult lessson, but always falling more in love with Him!).

In His ever loving grace ><>
Patricia

His faithfulness

2008-02-24T14:09:00.000-08:00

2-24-08

It’s been a couple days since I’ve had time to actually sit down and collect my thoughts in regards to all that God has been doing. It is hard to believe that I have only been here two weeks, and yet for all that God has done in my life, it might as well have been years! It’s been a week of struggle…struggle to deal with all that God is revealing to me and refining in my life. I have complained a lot to Him about it, told Him I wasn’t ready to deal with it….He told me I was and so we walked. He is teaching me what it means to be still and that my relationship with Him is of the utmost importance. To pray that He would be my everything means getting ready for Him to strip away the things that prohibit that. I’m learning to anticipate Him answering my prayers and to be careful what I pray for!

And through it all, through the tears and the heart ache, through the struggle to understand His plan, through the hours spent on my knees and in the word, I have seen His goodness and His faithfulness! “My only hope is in your unfailing love and faithfulness.” – Psalm 40:11. I am so thankful that He is so concerned with my relationship with Him that He deals with the hard stuff and jealously seeks after my time and affections.

During one of my low moments this week I called my sister who was in Tenn. helping with the disaster relief. As I was sharing the depth of emotion I had been dealing with, she mentioned an interesting thing that they had noticed while they were there cleaning up after the tornado. On the ground were all these round balls that looked like petrified peaches. As they examined them more, they realized that they were a type of cancer that had been growing on the trees and sucking the life out of them. It wasn’t until the tornado came through that the trees were able to experience relief from the disease that had been embedded into their trunk. “Don’t you see Patricia? God is getting rid of the cancer in your heart and sometimes he has to use a tornado to do it.” How true that is. And while Satan loves to use the anesthesia to numb us up to the disease of sin, when God does heart surgery, He always lets us feel it!

Other than that, it’s been a good week :o) We celebrated my roommate Whitney’s birthday on Wednesday (with Pizza and homemade cherry cobbler!). I put in a full week of hours at the coffee shop, helped my friend Natasha (from the Ukraine) write out her testimony (which was a challenge since she speaks very little English…way to learn my Russian!), had Jr. High dance night at dinner Saturday night, an awesome night of girl bonding while playing games and listening to the amazing travels of Jenna ;o) Friday night, and a beautifully sweet time of worship tonight for chapel. Oh, and did I mention that is has been in the high 60s and sunny for the past week….love being outside!

Things to pray for:
Time to get all my studying done, especially my 6 hours of language that I need to get in for the week. I am so thankful for the two years of Russian with Susie…now I just wish I had kept it up! Pray that it comes back to me quickly and the God grants me grace in retaining it.
Pray also as I make connections in Israel for my month outreach. A women here, who has lived in Israel for several years, has been talking to me about the different opportunities there and just today mentioned that she is praying about going with me. Such a blessing!

Also, pray that God would give me peace about where I should go over Easter. I have the opportunity to travel into Turkey to visit a friend of mine who is serving there now. Pray that if it His will that He would make that clear and evident.

Again, I am so thankful for all of you…for your faithful prayers and support! You have no idea how precious you are to me! I love you all!

In His sweet arms of love ><>
Patricia

Listening for the still, small voice

2008-02-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

2.19.08

E-mails from home:

"Patricia....You must keep your focus on Him. Get your mind off of feelings of lonliness, missing family, missing friends, missing familiar surroundings: these things are more Patricia centered. Instead, tune into God's frequency. Listen carefully; He speaks with a gentle whisper. Other voices will drown Him out if you let them. Use all your senses to sense Him and His touch on your life and your circumstances. He is there. Always. Working all things together for your eternal good. This is His promise to you.

I have always believed one of His favorite ways to speak to us is through His Word to us. Consider the words of II Timothy 3:16-17. "All Scripture (every verse has purpose and meaning) is given (a gift, from Him to you) by inspiration of God (these are His words so they have all of His characteristics - eternal, Holy, good, complete, loving, 100% reliable), and is (He just promised) profitable (you will benefit from taking His Word into and unto yourself in the following ways) for reproof (it will reveal your shortcomings, where you've gone the wrong way), for correction (it will show you the right way, how to redirect your steps, a change), for instruction in righteousness (it will tell you, show you, even demonstrate for you how He wants and expects you to live FOR HIM), that the man of God (ok, that would be anyone who lives for Him) may be complete (isn't this the very thing we all yearn for?), thoroghly equipped (God wants to give you everything you need for the works and challenges He has prepared for you; you know, where God guides, God provides: Jehovah Jireh) for every good work ("I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11)." I love you Patricia. We are earnestly praying about what He will do in you, through you, and for you.

Daddy"

"Daddy...One thing I have realized being here is the things i have taken for granted....and the wisdom God gives you is one of them! This morning was rough, mainly because God really has been working on my heart in regards to surrendering the things that I want, the things that I depend on and really letting Him have all of me....

And every time He asked me to come, I would try to email someone....Sarah, Chris....to talk to someone....no answer....

He continued to say come....I would look for someone here I could cry on....everyone was busy.....

He said come to Me....finally I listened and went for a walk in the woods and fields behind the college.....lots of walking, lots of listening, lots of looking....to just breathe Him in.

He let me see an Eagle, seed pods opening and seeds scattering on the wind, flowers pushing through the ground, deer in the field, the sun, the blue, blue sky, the clouds.....

He let me see Him and spoke to my heart words of promising restoration for where I have fallen, forgivness in broken relationships, and the jeoulsy of His heart in regards to my attentions and relationship with Him. He spoke comfort.

He told me that He has brought me to Hungary to bless me...and that this time would be like none other....this is His time!

It's still hard....your note still brought tears to my eyes and a missing to my heart....and yet it confirmed so much! And God usesd you to speak to me. I know that what He has in store for me is much greater than I can ever have imagined and that He loves me.

Ex. 34:11&14 - His concern is my obediance and our relationship

I love you daddy....so very much!

Patricia"

Serbia

2008-02-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

2.17.08

In light of James needing to leave the country in order to return and be legally in Hungary, a group of us decided to cram in a van and drive to Serbia (former Yugoslavia) and use the time for God’s glory! So, Saturday morning nine of us (James, Tanya, Kate, Abby, Matt, Adrial, Jason, Gustabo and myself) climbed in the van and drove the 2 1/2 hours to Serbia.

When we arrived at the Hungarian boarder, they took a while inspecting James’ passport, but let us through. When entering Serbia, they spent a lot of time looking through mine….constantly revisiting my Russian stamps and visas, and then went over Tanya’s quite a bit. In the end, they pulled Tanya’s passport due to all of her travel back and forth to Serbia (Tanya spent her month of outreach in Serbia, but is from Minnesota). They wanted to question her and couldn’t understand why she would have a Serbian visa and have spent so much time there, yet couldn’t speak the language. Thankfully, after much prayer, he eventually handed our passports back and let us continue.

Driving into Serbia we were so excited to see SNOW!!!! :o) We arrived in the town of the Calvary Chapel and met Chris who would be taking over as the Pastor of the church that Sunday. Due to the transition in the church, we were asked to keep things low key. We decided the best thing we could do was to pray over the city. So, after feasting on Burrak for lunch, we broke up into groups and hit the streets to begin our prayer walks.

Jason, Tanya and I headed out. We passed a little old man who was struggling to shovel his walk. Jason had it on his heart to help him, so we went over and as Jason cleared his sidewalk for him, Tanya and I tried to talk to him; Tanya with her broken Serbian and I with my little Russian (Serbian uses the Cyrillic alphabet and is closely related to Russian). We found out that he was 88 years old and couldn’t stop thanking us. There was this really touching moment when Jason finished and the man wanted to shake his hand. Tanya told Jason how to say “Jesus Loves You” and the man just shook his head in what seemed like amazement. It was frustrating to feel so bound by not speaking the language, and yet Christ’s love still shined through! He never ceases to amaze me… never! How good is our God!?!

One of the things that God has been really speaking to my heart about is the power of prayer. In the states it is so easy to go about your day, praying occasionally, but never having the NEED to be on your knees seeking God’s direction and guidance. In our Westernized society it is easy to lose our dependency on Him. Let me tell you, being ripped out of your comfort zone, in another country, in another culture, teaches you to quickly find who your strength is and what your foundation should be.

I was actually disappointed that we were asked to keep things low-key and not really share with people. Isn’t that the essence of evangelism: sharing? What is the point of going on an outreach if you can’t share? God showed me something so much greater….so much more foundational: PRAYER! It sounds really simple, and yet I realized how big of a concept it was for me to grasp. Walking this city in Serbia, in the bitter, freezing cold, and lifting up the people, the government, and the church, this city become imprinted on my heart. With each step in the snowy streets, these hearts become a burden on my heart! It was like claiming the city with each footprint…claiming it for Jesus!

I was so unbelievably blessed by just praying....by just talking to Jesus! And I believe He was blessed too :o) We left Serbia thanking God for the time we had to encourage Chris, see the city, pray for the people and to have them integrated with our hearts! There is such power in talking to our Daddy!

Miracles

2008-02-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

2.14.08

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! This was officially the best Valentine’s Day ever! No lie! :o) It started off pretty normal, made verse valentine’s for my roomies, send e-cards to my family whom I miss to pieces, and had my morning class, Mission Training, which was all about prayer and the effectiveness of a praying man and women on the mission field. It was really wonderful, as usual, but fairly normal in the scheme of what my day was looking like.

Came back to my room and chatted with one of my room mates who is a PK in Washington and comes from a divorced family as well. It was a blessing to be able to share our similar stories and see what God had shown us through it.

After lunch, a group of us left the college to head into town an hour away to apply for our resident permits. While we were there, one of the guys’ passports gets flagged. Because he had been here the semester before under the old law of needing a visa, he had a three month visa. However, over the past several weeks the visa requirement was lifted. Since James had a visa, he was not permitted to apply for the residency permit until AFTER the visa expired. Well, over the past week, the laws changed again, and now the visa was required if he had been here 90 days, in order to keep him legally in the country while he applied for the permit. His expired four days ago! The officials at the office told him that if he wrote on a piece of paper that he left the country and came back, then they could submit the paper work requesting the permit. James came back to our group and called one of the guys aside. They came back in the building and he went over to the desk. A few min later, he walked back over to our group and explained that they wanted him to lie and that He felt so wrong in his spirit to do that. The other option was that they would call the police, arrest him, and then deport him from Hungary….with little chance of returning.

Of course, we prayed. We petitioned for wisdom, discernment, loop holes, intervention. You name it, we prayed for it. In the middle of the prayer James got up and went over to the desk; we continued to pray. The women behind the counter asked our translator, Dia, to tell her what we were doing and saying. As she told her, the woman was amazed and surprised. James told them that he would not lie to stay in the country because he was a Christian and God had told him not to. One of the women behind the counter (now there were four officials gather around James’ paperwork) began to cry. Which led to Dia crying, because she had been working with this woman for several months and knew how hardened she was. And here, this situation brought her to tears! It was a blessing to see.

As James spoke with them and told them of his decision, we continued to pray that there would be a way that would not involve him needing to be arrested. After a while, they ended up deciding not to call the police, but rather had the boarder patrol police come and interrogate James. The interrogation lasted several hours in the basement of the office. Finally, they all emerged with James waving a 30 day residency permit which would allow him to be legally in the country while he traveled to Serbia (former Yugoslavia) to cross the boarder, leaving the country, and then return and apply for the extended permit! PRAISE GOD! We left the offices praising God and in awe of His provision! He is so good! After leaving there we were all chattering about what God had done and retelling the story. James then yells out, “Who’s going to Serbia with me?” LOL Several of us decided to go with James on Saturday and do a mini outreach while we are there….taking what Satan may have meant as a deterrent and using it for God’s glory!

We ended up stopping at a grocery store and buying a whole bunch of food that we shared on the ride home….a van full of 15 people, laughing, sharing, and basking in how awesome our God is. Today, we saw a miracle!

Romans 8:37-39

Here!

2008-02-12T02:51:00.000-08:00

2.12.08

Well, I made it! Finally in Hungary at last….after much spiritual attack and a slight delay, God has made a way and I am here. I can testify to the goodness of God. So many people here have been on their knees for me prior to even meeting me that it feels like they know me already :o).

After a very tearful, emotional goodbye, I made the six hour flight to London and three hour flight to Hungary, arriving in Budapest. I was exhausted, hungry, missing one of my pieces of luggage and unsure how I was going to be getting to the college (the shuttle company responsible for picking me up informed me 3 hours before my flight that they were full on the day of my arrival and unable to accommodate me) :o( Thank goodness for my blackberry. I was able to email between the college and my sister and CCBCE was graciously willing to send someone on the two hour drive to pick me up!

After waiting in the airport for three hours, an intern from the college, Bence, picked me up and told me that his parents lived very close to the airport and his mother wanted to feed me since I had been waiting SO long there! We drove to his parents’ house where his mother, Sarah, feed me Hungarian soup, home made bread that Bence’s dad had made, and Hungarian cake! I was so blessed! And to top it, His dad, who is part of a mission board, will be traveling to Pennsylvania in May to visit a church in Pittsburgh. In a way it was like God was allowing me to have a connection to home….between Sarah hugging me and feeding me and Bence’s dad sharing stories about my home state, it was one more small way God was allowing His comfort and peace to settle in my heart! He really has called me to be here, despite the delays and times of doubt, He is my provider and desires me to walk closer to Him. And for this reason He has called me to a place where I need to rely on Him more than ever to direct my steps and guide my path!

With the time difference of 6 hours, I woke up at 1:30am on the first night…wide awake! Willing myself back to sleep, I finally fell asleep around 4am. I skipped breakfast to take a much needed shower and then jumped into my first day of classes!!! Talk about hitting the ground running. I’m taking a class on Hebrews, James, Apologetics (Christian Worldview), an evangelism class for the students in my program, and then the requirements of morning chapel, Sunday and Thursday night chapel, and practical ministry (I’m in the coffee shop!!!!!!).

My roommates are wonderful….I’ve really connected with two of the girls in my program, Jenna (who is in her thirties) and one of my roommates Alica. Mary, my dorm room leader, an intern here at the college, has been such a blessing to help me acclimate and feel at home while having missed the first week of orientation. The girls have been so funny in wanting to figure out how old I am and talking about what I did before I came here…..Alica’s comment today was “God pulled you out of, like running political events with the President to come live in a room full of teenaged girls and study the Bible in Hungary!” And I couldn’t be more thankful that He did….He is making it so clear that I needed to pull away from all the distractions and really focus my heart and mind on Him and His will for me. This morning in my devos (on the Bible Bus for those who want to join!!!! ;o), God gave me Ex. 34:11 & 14 “Your responsibility is to obey all the commands I am giving you today….You must worship no other gods, but only the Lord, for He is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you.” Me….He is passionate about me! The God we serve is so good and so faithful!

A couple things to keep in prayer:
My program cost more than initially anticipated and we have additional 10 day outreach trip which I will need to cover cost wise, so please pray that the Lord would provide and help my doubting heart to trust Him!

Many students here came down with a similar virus that I had had the week before coming. Praise God I had it while in the comfort of my home and in my own bed (and my mommy’s ;o). Please pray that the Lord would keep my immune system up as I am tired and still getting over the traveling of the past couple days (yes, I’m taking Vitamin C and Zinc).

I am behind in two of my classes due to my late arrival, so please pray that God would carve out the time needed to catch up.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support! You all have been such a blessing and I am so thankful for each one of you! God has graciously blessed me with such an awesome family in Him!

Love you all!
In His grace ><>

Hungary

2008-01-19T18:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends and Family,

I write to you with a heart full of praises and prayer requests concerning where I feel the Lord is leading me. Once again, I strongly believe that God has called me to serve Him overseas, however this time he has led me to be better prepared to be in His fields by attending Calvary Chapels’ Mission Training School in Hungary. For several months now God has burdened me to be on my knees for the Middle East; this part of the world has been heavy on my heart during this time of devastation and conflict.

Although I believe that God is calling me serve Him in a possible long term position in this area of the world, He has clearly made it obvious that He is leading me to go to Hungary to be in His word and seeking Him and His direction on my life for the next several months. On February 2nd I will be leaving for Hungary, where I will be taking classes at the Calvary Chapel Bible College on the Europe campus. While my program is separate from the college, I will be living with the students, attending chapel with them, and ministering to them as the focus is on developing our leadership skills as we prepare to be on the mission field. During my time there we will be doing outreaches on the weekends and after four months of classes, we will be doing a month of outreach in another country. I am extremely excited about using these next few months to dig deep into His word and seek His direction. And while I look forward with anticipation of sharing the love of Christ with those living in this spiritually dark area of the world, I am feeling very inadequate to be used in such amazing ways by our Savior, Jesus Christ. Thankfully, though, I take to heart the words of an Indonesian missionary, Darlene Rose, when she writes, “God has called me, and he will equip me for the ministry.”

While I am still unsure as to what my classmates and I will encounter during our training and the harvest of our outreaches, I have confidence that my “soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from Him…I will never be shaken.”(Psalm 62:1-2) As I prepare both physically and mentally for this test and strengthening of my faith, I would ask that you would lift several things to the throne of God in prayer. “The prayer of a righteous man is effective and powerful.” (James 5:16) Please join me in praying for…

Our Witness: Pray that we would be spiritually prepared to answer the questions of those we speak with on the outreachs, and that the Holy Spirit would speak through us, giving us the words that they need to hear (1 Peter 3:15). In essence, that we would simply be His mouthpiece.
“Pray also for me that whenever I open my mouth words may be given unto me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel. Pray that I will declare it fearlessly, as I should.” (Ephesians 6:19)

The Team of Students: Pray that we will encourage each other during our time together and, that if it is the Lord’s desire, that He would break everyone’s heart on this trip and mold us closer to His image (Proverbs 2:3-5). Ask that the Lord would allow us to use this time to prepare for the ministry He is calling us to. Also, ask that we would have the time we need as a team to prepare prior to our departure on outreach at the end of the program.
Pray that as we interact with each other, the people we will minister to will notice the difference that Christ has made in our lives by simply viewing our actions (1 Timothy 4:12). Also lift up our time spent with the other students. Pray that we would be able to encourage them and serve them in a way that would bring glory to Christ.

The Conditions: Pray that the Lord will protect us from illness due to disease, unsanitary lavatories, insects and parasites, and unclean water while attending classes and on outreach. Also ask for safety in travel, traveling into Hungary and during our times of outreach.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty…Surely He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence, He will cover you with His feathers, and under his wings will you find refuge…For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” (Psalm 91: 1, 3, 4, & 11)

The People: We would ask that you would lift up the hearts of the people we will be interacting with in both Hungary and wherever we will be traveling to. Please ask that the Lord would go before us and prepare their hearts for the message we have been called to share. Also, that the Lord would continually open doors for us and give us plenty of opportunities to serve these people and just love on them. Pray that the Lord would renew the burden He has given us for these lost souls (Jude 22&23).

For our Finances: Pray that the Lord would supply the funds that are needed in time. I am in need of raising a thousand dollars for our month of outreach. I have confidence that the Lord will meet my needs if it is His will for me to join this trip. For that reason I would also ask that you would thank God that He provides for His children.

Lastly, I would like to thank you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, for laboring with me in the ministry of the gospel. “We stand true to the Lord whether others honor or despise us, whether they criticize or commend us. We are honest, but they call us liars. The world ignores us, but we are known to God.” (2 Corinthians 6:8-9a)

Walking in His grace,
Patricia